吴克群 - 爱太痛

吃不能吃 睡不能睡
没有了你 全都不对
我都学不会 把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠
笑不能笑 哭不敢哭
人不像人 鬼不像鬼
朋友都说这 不过失恋
但我却连呼吸都胆怯
能不能不爱了 因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了 爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把爱割舍
我不能睡
我不能够 不能够不爱了

Today's Sermon

I read today's devotional prayer online and realised that it makes perfect sense.

Forgive And Let God Do The Rest

Ephesians 4:3232And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

People like to say, “I can forgive, but I cannot forget.” Have you heard that before? Now, in the first place, nowhere in the Bible does God tell you to forgive and then to forget. It is not in the Bible! The devil is adding something here to make the whole thing burdensome.

God only tells us to forgive because God in Christ has forgiven us a debt we cannot pay. When we do this, we do ourselves a favor because harboring bitterness and unforgiveness can sometimes destroy our health!

So just forgive and let God take care of the rest. When you really forgive, sometimes, He makes you forget. But sometimes, you still remember the incident because it was a major thing in your life. Yet, when you look back at it, the pain is no more there. The sting is gone and you are not bitter.

Joseph had forgiven his brothers before they came and bowed before him. He remembered what they did to him, but he did not remember it with bitterness. (Genesis 50:15–21) So you may remember the incident, but the bitterness is gone because you have put the cross in the picture — “God in Christ forgave me. Daddy, I forgive you. Mama, I forgive you. My cousin, I forgive you.”

When you forgive, forgive by faith, not by your feelings. We walk by faith, not feelings. (2 Corinthians 5:7) Some people are waiting for feelings — “I am waiting, Father, for the right emotion to come on me to forgive that person.” That “right emotion” may never come!
No, forgive by faith, and do it once and for all. Spend time in prayer. Take out your diary and write it down: “Father, I bring this person before you. You know what he did to me. Father, as You forgave me through Jesus’ cross, even though I did not deserve it, by faith, I now forgive this person and I let my anger against him go in Jesus’ name. Amen!”

Once you forgive by faith, you will see the sting of bitterness removed from your heart. You will experience the peace and joy of God filling your mind, and see a greater measure of wholeness in your body!

Have What I Have

Many a times we often missed out on the things closest to us, right in front of our eyes. The people around, the situations we encounter, the things we see every other day.

After all the turmoil and by coincidence, I unraveled the meaning behind's Spidey's advanced song. After 1 1/2 year, it just dawned upon me that the reason was very simple. It was me.

I finally understood Ken Ito's message to me. It is time to have what i have. Because what i have is indeed like what he said, perfect for me.

The Reason - Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learningI never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you throughI wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

The Kingdom of Mountains

I'll let the pictures do the talking.

In short, the trip was truly enriching, memorable and simply beautiful.

Along the streets of Kathmandu

Handcutting the slot in piggy banks

Potter Street

The stories and tales that lies beneath their lives

Stupa

Dubar Square

Ancient architecture set against a beautiful sky

Chant wheels - for peace and harmony

And the souls that believe in it

The temple of monkey - where millions head towards to pray

Just watching the world pass by

The renowned world heritage site

Buffalos relieving themselves from the hot scorcing sun

Beautiful wildlife is hardly an eye-sore

Chitwan National Park

Devi's Fall

Lady Luck

I never had any luck when it comes to contests, lucky draws, bingo, etc. When 80% of the staff back in Raffles had a lucky draw gift during our annual D&D, I unfortunately landed myself in the 20% group. I didn't even stand a chance when I attempted ALL the scratch & win cards I came across in my life. This is of course, minusing the fact that I was several times the 'winner' for the $20,000 sweepstake draw by Reader's Digest. (if you guys do not already know, the sweepstake is a huge scam.)

But I think it's time for a change in luck. Lady luck is undoubtly, smiling at me these days. *bright grin*

For the very 1st time in my life, I won a lucky draw prize. =)

There were only 7 prizes given out that evening and I was one of the lucky 7. Although it was a small little $50 dining voucher, it was worth celebrating for the 1st win in my life!

The better news came when I received a letter from UOB in my mail. It was printed in the bank's letterhead and with the signature of its Executive Vice President, I'm pretty sure it can't go that wrong.

The result: I got rewarded with a F.O.C. Olympus camera from them!

Spot the difference!

The answer: One comes with a thinner heel and a bow at the back. The other has a chunkier heel and a rough textured surface. The former is also pointier at the front.

The blunder: I wore the wrong combination pair of shoes home last night.

I only realised it this morning when I was about to leave the house. And so I wore the exact wrong combination to work again today.

Well, I had to switch it back with the matching ones in the office!

A You-owe-me Surprise

I was doing housekeeping to the pictures in my phone when I chanced upon some pictures of the ‘You Owe Me’ coupons that Spidey bought a while ago.

Trying to be cheeky and also to test out the new MMS software in my phone, I sent this across to him.

He claimed foul play because I was supposed to pass him the actual coupon. Better luck next time I thought to myself.

We were then already set for the weekend trip to Bintan. He was there for work and I simply tagged along for the sun. I was waiting for him at the ferry terminal when he texted me, saying that there was a surprise for me. I knew what it was when I saw his parents at the ferry terminal. His parents came along for the trip too. =_=’’’

Yes, it was unexpected and totally surprising. But no, it doesn’t count as a nice surprise treat for me. Well anyway, they only stayed for the night and returned the next morning.

The actual surprise was revealed when we drove into Bintan Lagoon. We are staying at Bintan Lagoon instead of the usual Camp Challenge bunks!
Our humble little room for the 2nd night.
We had a double bed for the 1st night but was given a twin bedded one for the 2nd due to the high occupancy. The rooms were FOC, so I shan't complain.
The quiet pool in the morning.
read: only in the mornings.

The beach! A place I missed so much.
I took a ride on the Jetski although I must say that Damian (the seasport centre's manager) wouldn't be the the best bet if you ain't in for the (extreme) thrill. Well, I almost got flung out of the racer jetski when he took a corner in full speed!

Went on the ATV (All-Terrain-Vehicle) with the gang (Hwee Li, Damian & Spidey) into the jungle track. I wasn't impressed with the ride until it started raining. Somehow, the mud, leaves and the painful raindrops on my skin injected more excitement to it.

It started to get interesting when we ventured into a deserted beach about 10 to 15km away from Bintan Lagoon. We were driving on the beach in the rain (something a lot wouldn't encourage) when the unexpected happen.

One of the ATV stalled. God knows why but the drizzling rain became a thunderstorm and huge waves started to crash in from the sea at that very moment. There were no shelters, it was raining heavily and the wind couldn't get icier. It was really like filming our own Survival.

The girls rode back in the other working ATV while the men stayed and waited for (rescue) help. Unfamilar with the route, we had to ride by the coastline, past the entire stretch of deserted beach (read: uneven, dirty, with tons of logs, branches and huge puddles of water) to get back to Bintan Lagoon.

Hwee Li and me at the seasport centre after a 20minute ride back. I thank God we made it back safely and honestly, I would glady give up anything for an experience like this.

Well, many thanks to Spidey for this surprise treat. Although I'm thinking at the same time, isn't there supposed to be another coupon meant for this? *wicked laugh*

PS: Bintan is such a small island that we can hardly not bumped into someone we know. There was Jiaye when I was checking in, Mel Mel when I was at the seasport centre, Joleen at Pasar Ole Ole and even my colleague Joanne at the ferry terminal.

Oyster Surprise

Was stocking up on my skincare products and cosmetics at Isetan Scotts yesterday where I chanced upon this lovely freshwater pearl necklace. Have been yearning to buy one for the longest time now, especially after receiving the earrings from Gracie last Christmas.

Spidey wasn’t keen on the look when I tried it on. I didn’t think much of it and left for the basement for some Japanese snacks.

We got home and I found this wrapped nicely amidst my bag of cosmetics.

Honestly, I can't figure out how he could have possibly bought this when he's next to me throughout the evening, which he refuses to comment still.

Have you heard?

WONDER GIRLS – NOBODY

I want nobody nobody but you

I want nobody nobody but you

Minestrone Soup

As an attempt to relieve stress, I cooked again last evening.

This time around, it’s homemade minestrone soup. Although I really have to confess that I added a little shortcuts to make it easier. I told Jie that I’m talented in cooking (LOL) because this tasted really good…

*I'm using a stock picture so don't be misleaded*

Here’s the recipe: (unfortunately I don’t have exact measurements of the ingrdients because I cook according to ‘feeling’)

Ingredients:
1 large Carrot – diced
2 stalks Celery – diced
2 small Potato – diced
1 medium Onion – chopped
2 cloves Garlic – chopped
4 leaves Cabbage – rough chopped
2 tablespoon Extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon Italian herbs - chopped
1 small can of tomato puree

1/2 cup of pasta - uncooked (use the small ones like macaroni or fusili)
2 nos of beef stock cube
1 small can of kidney beans (buy the canned ones, otherwise boil it for an hour to soften it)

Estimating 1 litre of water

Method:

Heat olive oil in a pot and sauté garlic and onion till fragrant.

Add in celery, carrot and Italian herbs and saute till brown.

Add in water, beef stock cube, potato, pasta and cabbage.

Bring to boil and simmer till vegetables are soft.

Add in tomato puree and kidney beans and bring to boil again.
Serve hot!

Enjoy!

Football Crazy

I just needed to post this up to irritate FFA. Darling, I took picture with your beloved.

It's about time

Finally. After fighting honorably for a good 27 years, I finally surrendered.
It's time for a pair of glasses.

The power of illustration

I can't help but to post this up. Spidey and I were walking along Parco Bugis Junction in search for a decent restaurant to dine in when we saw this: We didn't know Elmo and Cookie Monster were dining at NYDC too. Smart marketing.

Historic Melaka

I just returned from my trip to Melaka over the weekend. Yes, I’m dead tired now but then again, it was a trip so well-spent that I am telling Spidey that we should start planning for our next trip back there again.

The start of our 6-hour journey (it's supposed to be only 3 hours but we met with a road block on the expressway, made a detour for breakfast at 10am plus another horrendous jam due to the 90seconds traffic lights that appears every other 50m on the road.....)

Having left the house at 8.30am without having any breakfast, Spidey got cranky and started searching the GPS for food places nearby where we can grab a quick bite. The GPS brought us to this small coffee shop called the Yon Lai at Kulai. It was crowded with families with freshly-made piping hot dim sum. I can now conclude that the GPS recommendations can be trusted!

Wanting to experience the authentic Melaka experience, I booked us a room in The Baba House. (Honestly only because Hotel Puri is fully booked. Sigh.)

And started our holiday in Melaka. A beautiful chinese temple just a few doors down

Unwilling to let go, we had to step into Hotel Puri and take a picture in their lobby. Next trip, we shall make sure we'll get to stay there at the next trip.

And our first stop - the famous Hoe Kee Chicken Rice! Go there or be square. We had to queue for a good 30min for a seat but it was all well worth it.

Followed by a bowl of authentic Nyonya Chendol...

It was then shopping time and we decided to head to the malls before going back to the street market at night. There really wasn't much so we decided to venture into Factory Outlet. It was then, I realised. That this will be my favourite shopping spot and Spidey insisted that I may only come back to Malacca for this!

Listen up, I found brands such as H&M, GAP, etc. and needless to say, my all-time favourite VICTORIA SECRETS! It was a good RM155 I spent in there even though the selection was only for selected fittings and sleepwear. Gracie, you're gonna be so upset cos I saw one of the PJ you bought from VS, at only RM20 in here.

One of the must-try item in my list was Devil's Curry. And as told by the concierge at Hotel Equatorial, the only place that I can find that is at the Portuguese Settlement which is about 1.6km away. Attempting to be adventurous, Spidey and I decided to take a slow walk there - only to realise half way through the journey of 45minutes that there wasn't a single cab in sight! I wasn't surprised to see the place packed with lots of people. I guess they must be there mainly for the seafood and so we ended up ordering some too. My recommendation, drive there if you have to go there because the food just ain't worth our effort. And yes, we eventually had to walk 1.6km back to Hotel Equatorial because there were absolutely no cabs around! If there was a place that I felt was a waste of time, this had to be it. Other than the super cheap prices, we paid about RM70 for 2 crabs, 6 king prawns, devil's curry, kang kong belacan and a bottle of tiger beer, there wasn't anything much to rave about.

I didn't feel that bad until I realised that the Peranakan restaurant (Nancy's kitchen) across my hotel, serves Devil's Curry too.

It was the shopping at Jonker Street followed by another bowl of Chendol thereafter, that made me simmer down.

Of a deserving break

I'm writing this from the desk in the PR office located at basement one of the hotel a.k.a known as my office. And it's labour day. Technically speaking, there shouldn't be any labour on labour day. But yes, here I am. In office, writing this before I run off to meet Spidey.

It's time for a break. Spidey says I need to rest and definitely deserve a mini-break. Since flights are all booked out and we are so not going to step into Bintan anytime soon again, we decided to drive up to Malaysia for a food trail.

So, it's Malacca tomorrow morning, in search for my favourite Devils Curry, chicken rice ball, chendol and Peranakan food... I'm praying hard that I'm not going to put a few more pounds this weekend. *keeping my fingers crossed*

Daylight robbery

I got really excited when The Peak @ Toa Payoh and City View @ Boon Keng was launched.

"WOW! Condo-like housing at hdb rates! What a good deal!" I told Spidey initially.

I fell in love instantly with their layout and design. After examining the floor plans, we decided to settle for the 5-room type with balconies for both living and master room. Isn't it nice to have a balcony in the master room where I can practice my yoga in the morning?

Starting from $539,000 for a 5-room, we thought that it is a little expensive but worth every penny of it.

That was until we realised that the units we wanted were all going at a minimum rate of $700,000!!!! That could get us an actual condominium to begin with instead!

Stress Reliever

It’s known that each and everyone of us have our very own way of relieving stress. For some of my friends, it’s definitely retail or food therapy. I found out mine recently.

Although I’ve been cooking, and I absolutely loved it, for a very long time now, (well, I first started out cooking Maggie noodles when I was still in my PAP kindergarden uniform) it didn’t dawn upon me that cooking was actually my way of relieving stress. I started noticing this a couple of weeks ago when I started cooking a lot when I wasn’t feeling quite normal and instantly felt better thereafter.

Relieving stress has its plus points. I’ve managed to perfect the recipe of Marmite Pork Ribs… and Garlic Fried Rice.. Did I also mention that I can make a very good chawanmushi now?

From LP79 to me...

Music of the Heart - Gloria Estefan & 'N Sync

You'll never knowWhat you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul...

You'll never know
The gift you've given me..
I'll carry it with me

Through the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better
And made me reach for something more

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before

And your love...Is the music of my heart..

You were the one
Always on my side
Always standing by
Seeing me through
You were the song that always made me sing
I'm singing this for you

Everywhere I go
I think of where I've been
And of the one who knew me better
Than anyone ever will again

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart

You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before...

And your love... Is the music of my heart

What you taught me
Only your love could ever teach me
You got through when no one could reach me
Cause you always saw in me
All the best that I could be
It was you who set me free

A gentle reminder

When the day starts off on a bad note. When things doesn't seem to get better. When you can hardly stop and take a breather. It's good to have a little reminder.

Yogjakarta with Nikon D60

Time to rest

I've discussed this with Spidey. We really need a break after my senioring journey.

Time off from AW. Time off from work. Time off just for ourselves. So, for our next trip... It's definitely gotta be The Racha!

A trip to the civilisation

Oh finally. After countless months of chanting and praying, I got what I was sourcing for. Haha.

I am going on a H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. Yes, yes, yes! No no, I didn't forget my intention. That's why I'm materialising it. =)

Being the usual barbie doll that I am, we will be staying at Hyatt Regency. As a matter of fact, I really only wanted to stay at Aman. But USD 800 per room per night is just way out of the question. Then again, Spidey has agreed to stay at Aman during our trip to Bhutan. *evil wink*

Well, Hyatt looks pretty nice from the pictures too. One thing that I absolutely like about the hotel is the fact that we can actually see Mount Merapi from the rooms! Nice~!

Contented

One of the things that I wanted very badly in 2008 was to watch the long-awaited Kylie Minogue's concert.

It was such a pity that it was a day before my advanced staffing and Spidey wasn't available too. To top it off, the tickets were going at a whopping $588!

Zan made it up to me on the first day of 2009, at exactly 12.05am. Thanks love, I absolutely adore it.

The moments

The things we do in the office when it gets bored. 

Presenting..... 

Mr Bored Goody Two Shoes

Mr Clueless Nerdy Freak

And Miss Doormat Wallflower

Shining beyond

Spiderman just finished staffing his first basic. He was shinning so brightly. I'm proud as a gf. At the same time, I felt as if I was pushed down to the last on his priority list. Perhaps I'm not used to him having other commitments placed before me. I know I sound like a spoilt kid, screaming for attention but I just can't help feeling this way.

We were on a cold war yesterday at post graduation party at Le Baroque. It was LP77's 3rd weekend, LP78's 2nd weekend as well as the graduation of SB82. Le Baroque was filled with AW people and some GLPs were sensitive enough to pick up the vibes from us.

Albert, Elaine, Mahen, Ken, David, Bean and Alex all tried resolving this for us. It didn't help. I just couldn't give up wanting to be right. It was after a few hours later that I sat next to my beloved De that got me into action. We are so alike so she knows me best. She shared with me her experience when Faith staffed her first basic. 'It's great that you're shinning, but don't forget about me.' was what she said to Faith. It strucked me that it was as easy as opening up my mouth.

I went up to him at the dance floor and there we are, a happy couple all over again. =)

The one

I set my eyes on this the moment I approached the counter. Simple, understated but elegant and sophisticated.

I am playing the BIG game

Zan, you are so gonna salute me when you hear this.

I AM SENIORING LP79! Woohoo! It's 1st weekend this week. =)

Amusement

I know I'm super delayed when it comes to postings. So, here's something for your amusement. Something taken out of fun with Chef at Press Centre.

Surprise surprise!

I JUST RUIN MY OWN SURPRISE!

Being a lot more savvy when it comes to financial planning, I've learned how to spend my money wisely (minus the cab rides). I chanced upon spidey's credit card bill the other day and was taken aback by the amount (no it wasn't a lot) because he really doesn't spend much. The amount just wasn't justifiable because I haven't seen any new PSP nor laptop nor new gadgets lying around the house.

'Company's expenditure' he will tell me each time I asked about it. The weird part is, I just saw the hefty reimbursement cheque that he received the other day.

Trying to convince him that credit card bills are unhealthy and damaging, I probably over-reacted quite a bit and drove him up the wall.

Everyone who knew about it swore upon their lives that they will never leak the secret out to me. But it was the 'kan cheong' spidey himself that let the cat out of the bag. He couldn't forgave himself for spoiling the surprise and I couldn't forgave myself for ruining my own surprise.... Goddammit.

I am your financial planner

Caught up with Sunflower Steve last Saturday because we were helping out at Club Rainbow Halloween Party. Saw the 2 kids Jiaxuan and Xiaowei that I was with during LP74's WOW day in Sentosa. They actually remembered my name!

Anyway, not to digress, Steve taught me a good financial planning method that I thought I should share. It was from an entrepreneur friend of his.

Apparently, everyone of us should divide our income into 5 major accounts. You don't really have to set up 5 different accounts, you just need to keep track which account the money belongs to, although I suggest keeping aside those for future use because people like me will be tempted to just swipe that card to buy some shoes, bags, skincare products or dresses.

1. Expense Account
Self - explanatory. This account records all the expenses you will require for the month such as your travel fares, food expenses, hp bills, health insurance, etc. Set aside an amount and spend within that budget.

2. Savings Account
Duh. This is saving for the rainy days. Your insurance savings plan or bank's savings plan expense are credited into this account.

3. Investment Account
The money in this account are not meant to be spent! Unless there is an investment opportunity. What you do is really simple. Simply set aside 100 or 200 bucks into the account every month. By the time when the stock market is down or when share prices dropped tremendously (like the AIG shares), you'll have the spare cash to earn a quick buck.

4. Future Purchase Account
This account is meant for future purchases such as a new car, a new lap top, house, wedding, etc. Simply credit a couple of hundred bucks into this account and you will be amazed at the speed the amount accumulates.

5. Rewards Account
My favourite account! Set aside an amount that you are supposed to spend at the end of the month. Splurge! Be it a full day spa, a $300 meal or a weekend getaway, this reward account is to thank yourself for being so disciplined and prudent in your spendings. Trust me, you'll need this. It'll help you soothe those heartaches and insomnia about that pair of jimmy choos or that chloe bag you wanted in the beginning of the month.

Happy planning!

Purfect Engrish

I was looking through my previous entries and was amazed at the number of vocabulary and grammar mistakes that I've made. Oopsie. I always thought that I can write purfect engrish.... *wink*

Chicken Lesson

Steps to enjoying your KFC chicken: 

1. Buy a whole tray filled of Crispy KFC chicken, if thighs or drumsticks are not available, do not attempt to substitute it with the original recipe. Some things just aren't quite the same. 

2. Peel off the skin and meat carefully and slowly from the chicken. 

3. Dip the chicken in a whole saucer-full of local chilli sauce. 

4. Slowly, and very tactfully, put the chicken into your mouth and chew slowly. 

5. Finally, display a truly satisfied look when you have swallow your KFC chicken. 

Take the walk

Due to the road closures around Marina Bay area, commuters are recommended to take public transport to the area.

I have been behaving well. As tempted as I am to just wave my hand in the air to flag a cab (especially when it's raining this morning), I chant the mantra and took the train to work. Spidey was proud of my accomplishment. =) Yes, it is an accompishment.

It's going to be a long week. Spidey is off to Bintan for another 3-day programme. I miss my boyfriend already. Then again, we are both on a week's leave next week! Wanted to visit Mich in Macau but she's off to Bordeaux at the last minute. So I guess I will be spending time tidying up my thesis, run my overdue errands, and of course, spending quality time with my beloved spiderman. Can't wait for F1 to be over.

It's a busy week

Other than the Formula One coming, there are still a dozen things I've left to do. HY is on marriage leave, so I'm covering for her as well.

I have been working non-stop for the past few months to the extent that Spidey is always asking me on every Friday evening if I will be going back to the office the next day. It's either a sad face he gives when I nod my head or a wide grin when I shoke my head. Then again, I hate to disappoint him each time he plans something. Last weekend was a classic example. He had this bright smile on his face when he returned from a 3-day programme at Bintan and was happily arranging for brunch and movies. I recieved a phone call on Saturday morning and there I was, trying to pacify him to no end. Thank God my bf is a supporter. These are the rare times I truly appreciate and embrace the supporter side of him.

Was doing a photoshoot with Calvin today and he was asking if I needed to work this hard. Well honestly, with HY on leave and so many PR activites, what am I supposed to say?

A double

After 11 years of telling myself 'I can't bowl', I got unknowingly nominated into the home bowling team. So there I was, competing in an internal bowling challenge.

My team - Slash 69

As hard as I tried, I had a nice share of being called the 'lokang' queen....

But then again, after 11 years of non-bowling, I did managed to hit a strike, or rather, two strikes that makes it a double, with a little help from Tiger Beer. =)

And how can I not mentioned the childish looking attire I bought for my team. OWTFGFIA!Relax, take it easy.... It was a double stretch and it felt good.

My Little Beauty Book

I have this habit of sharing the latest skincare or cosmetic finds with my girlfriends, only to have them each buying the items and trying it out.

It dawned upon me that perhaps, I should be a little bit more generous, to share my tips here in the blog. Hahaha. LOL.

First and foremost, let me reveal my latest find:

Kawaii Tokyo

Alright, alright. I know the name sounds a little cheesy. Or rather, very cheesy, but this is apparently an up and coming brand in the market.

I first started out with the daily defense eye cream about 3 weeks ago. It was supposed to repair and protect against photoaging. Today, I chanced upon the brand again at Marina Square atrium and ended up buying the cleanser, sun block and toner-moisturiser. Ok, I admit I am one of the easiest person to persuade to buy any beauty product. Just show me the brochure and if there's enough literature on it, I'm sold. It's THAT easy. Then again, these products won the Cleo and Singapore Women's Weekly awards. Trust me, it's no advertising gimmick. I have clarified with the insiders and it was weeks and weeks of testing countless products that they derived the winner list from. So it must be worth a try. Kawaii Tokyo is available in Sasa stores, Robinson and John Little.

Speaking of which, it is about time to replenish my cosmetics. I am still sold by my Kiehl's Lip Balm, Ettusais blusher and moisturising pressed powder, and my favourite Loreal Volume Shocking mascara. =)

Almost forgot. I love the new Olay Total Effects shower + butter cream. Creamy, luxurious and smells good. The best part of it? It leaves behind this sheen of shimmering powder-like effect on my body after use.

A non-typical Sunday

I woke up this morning, to be greeted by unusual sounds in the house. Ah-bu & Lao Peh are back! Happy!!! I haven't been able to spend Sundays with them for a very long time now.

After a late breakfast, we decided to make a trip to Vivo City, something even rarer (Lao Peh has this habit of rotting in front of the television whenever he's back home).

We made a trip to Daiso where we ladies have a great time, with Lao Peh lamenting about how bored he is, that is, until he found the DIY section. Carefully going through the tools and examining each and every one of them meticulously, Lao Peh delicately placed two into the push cart. When he overheard that everything in Daiso is going at $2 each, the number of tools in the push cart multiplied themselves within seconds. Haha.

We then, had a OSIM day, or so I called it.

Lao Peh, satisfied with his new find.


Jie and Ah Bu, trying out the i-squeeze. Although Jie liked it, both Ah bu and myself found it a little painful. Blame it on our skinny and boney feet.

I returned to the other section of OSIM, and found Lao Peh in this state. Zzzzzzz..... After which he made me ride on the infamous horseback i-gallop... -_-'''

We didn't end up with the massage chair nor the i-squeeze.

It was the iEcologi that we bought home. Needless to say, we spent the rest of the afternoon, trying the new Steam + Vacuum + Disinfector in the living room, followed by the bedrooms, then the toilets..... My house is now spick and span.

Matching Accessories

In order to match.......

My i book,


I bought an.............






i phone!!!

No lah! It's not for matching lah! But then again, I have to admit that the 2 gadgets work together seamlessly. Utterly compatible.

PS: Unlike what Jie assumes, Spidey didn't queued till midnight to get this for me. He worked smart. He reserved this 2 months back. *Sweetness*

It was a foodilicious day

Chef Eric has this habit of offering me food, candy, sweets, chocolates, etc... every time I sit across him in his office. This time round, we were waiting for a journalist for a photoshoot session and he offered me this:

I call them the eraser candies.

Stepping out of his office, I was greeted with this enormous pile of lotus paste. Mind you, it was quite a traumatic sight. This has gotta be for A LOT of mooncakes. Just imagine stuffing your face with this amount of lotus paste. @$%# Not a pretty sight. I would probably dream of lotus paste when I sleep.
I can't help it but take a picture of my dear Chef. He is just so seriously charming when he's cooking. =)
Chef Eric's creation. I think my Sony Ericsson W810i still takes brilliant pictures.

Big glasses, eh?

I was at LP74's torch pass. It was also LP75's 2nd weekend. Needless to mention, they had a whole truck load of props, prepared for whatever they were supposed to do.

I loaned this from Kitty and was amusing my GLP 72.

Think I looked a little cross-eyed here, eh?

Heavenly inspired gems

Tis' the season to stuff our faces with the galore of mooncakes!!! Be it the traditional baked ones or the new-fangled flavours each year. This year, I tasted the weirdest of all - Seaweed Paste with Spicy Chicken Floss! No, it's not that scary. It's actually quite nice and pretty addictive.

Anyway, thanks to Chef Hiew, I had my 1st attempt at making mooncakes. Yes, he was patient enough to have me successfully 'mould' a mooncake!

Ta dah! My virgin mooncake!

Baby Boomers

If it's a boy, it will be named 'Aiden'. Those were the words from Gracie's mouth last evening. Yes people!!!! She IS PREGNANT! *screams for joy*

It set me into thinking about mine. (in the future i meant). I like Gabriel. And I like Kayleen. And Melissa too. And Kiren. And Gabrielle. Haha.

P.S. I love you

After buying the DVD for months now, Spidey and I finally watched it last night with a bottle of good Bordeaux wine.

Just a few words to sum up the whole movie: Love, love and more love.

My personal feel: It is better than notebook - a movie that many of us thought was one of the most touching movie ever.

And yes, Spidey: P.S. I love you

NDP from the Nikon

Pictures from Nikon as promised

I was trying to catch the aircraft show myself, after Andrew complained about my photography skills.

Still watching the parade

The city skyline from the suite

The initial fireworks teaser

The Parade

The parade with the wave of red Singaporeans

Attempted to capture Andrew showing the middle finger

My award-winning shot (says Kelly). Haha. Well done Kelly!

Happy National Day

I was sulking away on National Day as I needed to be in the office for a while, or rather, just to welcome Takada Kenzo (yes, that designer Kenzo) because he's arriving on 9 Aug itself.

As usual, flights were delayed and arrivals were delayed due to the road closure. I was sitting in the office, trying to find some entertainment for myself when Andrew (my rooms division manager, who is also known as Ninja Turtle to me) called and asked me to join them at Room 1901.

It was then, that I love working on National Day. This was the view I got in the comfort of the hotel suite.
More pictures to follow I promise. This is from my phone. I took some beautiful ones of the aircraft show using the Nikon D70S. Didn't know I had hidden talents of photography. =)

My BIG Day

It's such a pity that I do not have pictures in soft copy. It was all captured in polariod.

Spidey and Ah Zan organised a surprise birthday party for me at Sandman. Being a super controller, I always need to be kept in the loop of what's happening. I wanted a BBQ, which I already have informed Ah Zan and Gracie about. Something which Spidey is supposed to plan and didn't materialised.

What I got in the end was a surprise party with my LP mates, my babies during the recent advanced, my dearest Jie and even Ah Bian. This came as a complete surprise. They made it even more special with 'fugly' and I mean 'fugly' blown-up pictures of me, pasted all over the main door. How sweet. All thanks to the creativity of Ah Zan, and of cos Liying, for developing the pictures.

Spidey arranged a special spa trip at Batam the next day. It was a decent spa, situated at a row of ordinary looking shophouses. The treatment were pretty good and what I enjoyed most was the milk bath, where I get to immerse myself in that romantic setting accompanied with my all time favourite - ginger tea. It was of course, good for some quality couple time too. Happy.

My Song

After searching high & low, after countless visits to HMV, Gramophone, That CD Shop, etc. I still wasn't able to find my song.

Ruddy was supposed to send it to me ages ago but it wasn't done either.

And all it took was just 2 days after Advanced Graduation that YK, one of the 18 babies, burnt all the songs into a CD and there it is. My song. In that very CD, lying on my table. =)

And here's my para:

If I was unaware, if I didn't care
About people and places and things
How could I live a life full and satisfied
Now knowing how to dream

I was playing the CD in the car and Spidey commented how AW the car has become. Haha.
Happy National Day.

Kelly's Traveller Digest

Finally. I am planning a so over-due holiday.

Knowing my penchant for the ancient architecture, natural landscape and the undiscovered places, I have shortlisted 2 ulu places to visit:

- Borobudur at Yogyakarta, Centra Java

Where the largest Buddhist temple in the world is located. No, I am not a buddhist but I do enjoy the serenity and calmness that these ancient archaelogical structure brings me.

- Mount Bromo at Surabaya, East Java

A highly active volcano that may sound too dangerous to go near but yet is breathtakingly beautiful. Where else can I be overwhelmed with such magnificence?

As near as Indonesia may sound, the accommodation ain’t cheap at all. I was looking at the Aman Resorts and was taken aback by its hefty room rate of USD834 per room per night. Now I wished Spiderman is really Peter Parker in the movies….

SA77

I am a mother! Yes, i meant it literally. It seems like I have just given birth to 8 babies (I have 8 in my small group lah) during the advanced course and watched another 28 grow. Wonderful wonderful experience.The 28 babies.

Am glad I chose to make a stand and pay it forward.

Bean, De, Derek and David came for the graduation. Spiderman sped all the way from Malacca back as well and surprised me with a nice little bouquet of roses.

SA78

My confirmation came much earlier than expected. I'm 2 months into my job now. And because of that, I am going to risk it by taking all the annual leave I have in these 2 months - 3 days. To staff the upcoming advanced. Yes, that's my intention.

Camp Vision 08

I volunteered for Camp Vision 08 for the obvious reason - Spiderman is the programme head for this year's camp.

Dedicated to youth at risk from various foster homes and care centres, it was truly an inspiring experience.

In charged of the trust fall segment of the programme, I had chances to work these youth in an intimate way, sharing with them their dreams, their fears and obstacles. Many touched me deeply. Simple dreams such as ' I want my family to be back together again', 'I want to be a social worker', 'I want my family to be happy' affected me deeply. Looking into their eyes, sharing their dreams and being able to work with them on this, I was once again inspired to make my life worthwhile.

It was my 1st real attempt as a faciliator / trainer and I was initially afraid and scared that I won't be able to do a good job but I guess the saying was correct, if I go a 100%, that is already the best. Indeed. I went a 100% for the youth, baring my heart out to them.

Even though there were never enough food, rest and time with spiderman, I even had to take orders from spiderman, it was a weekend well spent.

Spiderman was excited and I was impressed at how he showed up as the head of programme. Yah, there will be minor details here and there that he missed out (so typical promoter) but I had to give him the credit that he was an inspirations for many of the youth - even when he was showing off his 'walking man' shuffle in front of them. For once, I took orders from him and obeyed him, even though I may not be pleased at times. This was the only time he had the opportunity to tell me off, and not let me have my ways. A classic example was when he told me off when I wanted to change out of my track shoes to slippers (slippers were not allowed during Day 2 programme) when my toes were hurting. Usually, he would be so anxious that he would loan me his slippers when my toes were hurting. It was difficult for me to digest initially. My boyfriend would never ever say no to me. But in this instance, he did. And I obediently listened.

Because of my work commitment, I had to leave on Sunday night instead of staying till Monday which was Youth day. I got spiderman to convey a message to my small group and he teared whilst doing that.

2 days of Camp Christine. 2 days with 100 youths. 2 days of not enough food nor rest. 2 days of stickiness on my body. 2 days of rough toughing out. 2 days of mud and dirt on my body. Whatever it was, it was 2 days well spent. I wouldn't think twice to volunteer for Camp Vision 09.

New journey

I have started my new LP journey recently. No, it's not another AW course that I'm undergoing - well, I do have plans to go for Mastery in September though.

The bunch of us who got so addicted to playing the game, decided to create our own game this time round. It's another 3 months of playing, 3 months of hardwork but another 3 months of spectacular results.

The difference: As Graduate LPs, we are all going all out to play. Those who decided to play, will be playing to win.

I have been listening to Richard Marx's 'Ready to Fly' in the office these days. I just can't help reminiscing the beautiful journey I had in AW. It's amazing how fast time passes. I still recalled how reluctant I was to Basic when Jie wanted me to sign up. And now, I am a GLP myself, equipped with all the tools I need to survive and win.

This time round, it's a different journey. It's a journey of choice. I choose to play this journey. No fees paid, no seniors, no AW weekends. Just us. The 20 odd of us who are still around.

Well, as crazy as it can sound, I have sent in my letter of intention to staff the upcoming Advanced in September. It's the 1st leave that I will be taking from the company and it will be for Advanced, the one that holds me to who I am today.

I've always had wings. And now, I am ready to fly.

PS: It's been barely 2 months since I started this job and I am getting my performance reviewed. =)

LP74 WOW Day

It was a triple WOW last Saturday. Me & 6 of my fellow LP mates participated in LP74 WOW day. It was an eye-opener indeed.
With 200 kids and their family, I couldn’t figure out the common characteristic of these kids until I enquired with Steve. ‘They are terminally ill kids that are short-lived. Most of them don’t live past the age of 10 to 12 years old.’ It stroked a core in my heart.

The kids all looked healthy. It was until I saw the photographs of the pictures that we have taken earlier: their faces were really pale with dark undereye circles – something we don’t see very often in healthy kids.

They can’t travel overseas and can only be outdoors for a maximum of 4 hours. LP74 created 8 booths, featuring culture, souvenirs and snacks from different countries and each kid is given a passport and since these kids can’t travel the world in 80 days, we have them travel the world in the hall in 80min.

After dinner, we brought them to Sentosa where we all get to enjoy the Songs of the Sea. It wasn’t really the performance that warmed me, it’s my 2 ‘kids’ Xiao Wei and Jia Xuan. When they hugged me and told me that they really liked me, tears dwelled up in my eyes. Jia Xuan was even frantically looking for me when I stepped away to buy a drink from 7-11. The expression on their faces were just unparallel. It was truly a MasterCard moment.

My heart sank when Ruddy told me a piece of news. With us at the WOW day were a pair of twins whom the doctors diagnosed will not live past this week. All they really wanted was to watch the Songs of the Sea and we made it happen for them.

For every community service project that I’ve participated in, I’ve always gained something valuable. For this time round, it is to live life fruitfully. To go a 100% and make it worthwhile. Just because I get to live, these kids don’t.

PR Girl

I've officially become a chi chi PR girl.

Dream came true

After dreaming for a few years, my sweetheart's dream finally came true. On Friday, 23 May 2008, Ah Zan had her 1st party in HER own pub.

I enrolled my wonderful small group mates and LP mates down. It was a hell of a evening. We had fun, ate plenty, drank plenty, and sing plenty.

Buddy David, looking his best ever since I know him. Cos he's on a hot date!

The woman in my life - De.

Ah Beng + De + Me = 3 Elites

Yam Seng!!! In anticipation of 3rd weekend by 6 Elites + 1 Kamikase

I love her I love her I love her!

Miss Nun Lyn + Miss Bitchy Doll Kelly

The pub owner herself - Ah Zan

Yours truly + Sotong Sister

Jerry - the man who's been supporting me ever since Basic. All the preparation you made me do for your wedding was well worth. Haha.

FINALLY!

Hey hey!

Yes, I am FINALLY blogging after such a long span of time. Sincere apologies but I have way TOO busy in the past month. Here's what happened after WOW day (which is my last post):

- Completed 2nd weekend - it was awesome!!!
- Attended the basic facilitation camp by Absorbent Mind
- Enrolled Aaron & darling Junk into May Basic, enrolled Vincent & Dawn (Spiderman's cousin!!!) into July Basic
- Helped out in Zan's WOW day
- Enrolled my small group & LP mates to Zan's opening party (My darling opened up her own pub!!! Her dream for the longest time, came through even before her 2nd weekend)
- For the 1st & only time, walked Aaron & Junk into Basic
- And for the 1st & only time also, attended Aaron & Junk's graduation
- Completed my Comms thesis
- Oh yah, how can I forget. I started work. It has been 4 weeks now!
- And tomorrow is my 3RD WEEKEND!!! Woohoo!!

It has been a crazy journey. I have done things that I would never do, done things that I would never that I could do, and even done things that gave results that I never thought possible. =)

Tonight, I am going home to hug my brother and tell him I love him.

WOW day pictures

Mummy dearest & De - my beloved senior

The 2 important men in my life - buddy Don & my loving spiderman

Dun ask me why but Faith & Harry just got us up there!

My dearest LP mates - fighting & winning together!

Updates

Sorry peeps. Busy busy life I have right now. I see some of you rolling your eyes, thinking how possible is that since I am currently enjoying my 'tai tai' lifestyle right now.

Well no, A LOT has been accomplished these weeks. First foremost, I finished my WOW day i.e. the community service project that I'm required to do during my LP journey. It was really a WOW. Seniors were so proud of us. 26 of us created an amazing carnival for more than 400 residents staying in the 1-room flats in Marsiling. It was truly an eye-opener. It was heart wrenching to know that there are still people in Singapore who needs to worry about their next meal. We really made a difference. For all those who have contributed monetary or volunteer their services for the carnival, a big THANK YOU. You have indeed made a difference in their lives. 

Oh, how can I forget to mention: My dearest Mummy showed up for my WOW day!!! WOOHOO! I was so proud and was 'showing' her off to everyone! Mummy said I looked bad these days. Yah, my pimples meant for the entire year all decided to party together this month. And because of this, Mummy is getting me a facial package F.O.C. Muahahahaha.. 

Next, I am going to start work next next Mon! Yeah!!!! At the same time, I am still not forgoing my dream. Am going to attend the basic facilitation camp next weekend. While working, I am going to continue doing facilitation and teaching my students on weekends. I love my students now and I need to be responsible for them too - my 2 darlings are having their exams soon! 

And tomorrow's my BIG day at 2nd weekend. Ok got to run, I need to finish up another 12 pages of Oprah and work on my thesis. 

Dun worry, I will post some pictures soon. I've got lovely lovely pictures of Mummy, De & myself. Oh yes, I forgot to mention: I am so loving my senior De. 

Hurt

Only risking will let you know how far you can go. 

I risked it. I smsed the person I swear I would never ever want to contact for the rest of my life. I was upset that after taking a huge risk to be open & honest, what I got in return was betrayal and back-stabbed. 

Well so I did. I plucked up the courage to drop a casual friendly sms to him, asking him how he has been. He didn't reply. I expected it. But what hurt most was when I saw his facebook status. 'He hates smiling back-stabbers. Stop smsing or calling me.' 

Is this a fact or a belief that the comment was meant for me? 

Can't take that away - Mariah Carey

A song that inspires me greatly. This is the driving force (with the exception of God & Drew) that keeps me going.

They can say,
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,
And they can try
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's,
There's a light in me,
That shines brightly,
They can try,
But they can't take that away from me
From me

No no nooo

Oh they,
They can do
Anything they want to you,
If you let them in,
But they won't ever win,
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,
See I..
I have learned,
There's an inner peace I own,
Something in my soul that they can not possess
So I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade

'Cause there's,
There's light in me me,
That shines brightly, They can try,
But they can't take that away from me

No oh oh,
They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go

Woah, woah
They can say
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I won't face the ground,
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach,
Oh, Lord, they do try,
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter
In what I believe or lose faith in my dreams,
'Cause there's a light in me,
That shines brightly

New Hairdo

I showed up in Majestic for lunch with Gracie & Zan. My sweethearts don't recognise me...

Result Check

The leadership program (LP) is designed to create results in my life.

Here are my 4 personal goals in LP:

- Financial
To get a job and clear my credit card bill

- Education
To submit two thesis for my BA (Comms & Mktg)

- Health
To stop smoking

- Relationship
To create a open, honest, loving & caring relationship with my family members

They said the goals were good because they covered different areas of my life.

Let's see what 2 weeks in LP has done for me:

- Financial
I've went for 5 interviews and got shortlisted for another 2 more positions. I've cleared so far, $2400 of credit card bills (mind you, this is really SOMETHING when you don't have a job and not depending on parents.)

- Education
I've registered myself for thesis submission and have submitted both proposals.

- Health
I've stopped smoking. Yes believe me, I have.

- Relationship
I now have intimate, fun & loving relationships with my family. Nope, I'm not stopping here. Am thinking of ways to WOW them further.

Well, 2 weeks in LP has definitely got me going on with things I never knew possible. Good start and I'm still going on. My favourite distinction: If it's to be, it's up to me.

My S-T-R-E-T-C-H

I really stretched last weekend for my family.

For a start, I spent 4 hours cooking a 3-course dinner for Boy. Well, I asked him out for a dinner at home... smiles. So here's the menu:

Seafood Mushroom Soup with Garlic Bread (Ok lah, the soup's from campbell lah but at least I made the garlic bread myself right?)

Buttered Spinach with mashed potato & sunny side-up (this is one of my favourite dish from Corduroy and it really is a very time-consuming dish. Simple yet complicated to make!)

My signature Spaghetti Aglio Olio with Buttered Pepper Prawns & Lemon Pepper Salmon.

We enjoyed our food, had a really good talk and never felt as connected to each other. Well, I've got my brother back after 26 years. Worth celebrating isn't it?

Right after washing the dishes, Boy sent me to the causeway where I took a risk of travelling to Kluang to look for Ah Bu & Lao Peh all by myself, at night. Ah Bu & Lao Peh totally freaked out when they realised that I was the only passenger in the coach from JB to Kluang. Drew gave me a good lashing as well. Oops. I didn't know it would be dangerous. I thought it was safe, well I'm still here ain't I? They called me 'crazy woman' to travel all the way to see them. Obviously they are very happy right?

Anyway, had Dim Sum brunch with my lovely mum & childish dad. Went shopping with them at the supermarket thereafter and it's really amusing to be able to see your parents argue like kids - what to buy and who said what and who's wrong, etc. They even argued about the bus fare when they were driving me to JB. It's heartwarming and it feels like family again.

I am so glad I chose this stretch.

WOOHOO!!! SPREAD THE FIRE!

I'm high on fire now! So God damn high!

I have a job interview this Friday!

I submitted both proposal for my thesis!

My flea market is confirmed!

Vincent is signing up tomorrow!

And I got a dinner date with my brother this Saturday!

I GOT IT GOING ON!!!

It's my life!

This post is specially dedicated to Ah Zan, whom by the way, WILL BE GRADUATING from AW Basic tomorrow!!!

Believe it or not, one of the most resistant person in my life about AW has finished her Sat of Basic. Tomorrow is her graduation!

I am so proud of her to make this choice. The best feeling of all is when she calls me during her Basic and thank me.

Zan, you don't have to thank me. Thank yourself for making this choice. Now you know where I've been coming from all along. I love you.

I am good enough

I had my 1st session with my LP small group. We were 'grilling' each other and I realised the compelling desire behind my goals. The words just came out of my mouth and my tear glands were on standby. 'I am good enough.'

Drew just whispered this into my ear too when I was thinking of a title for today's post. So here I am ' I am good enough!' and I am officially a non-smoker!

It all makes perfect sense now. I now know why I can go anywhere without make-up and why the sudden urge of going back to the hotel industry! Cos I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!

Anyway, Ah Zan walked in today. I am so proud of her! I can't wait to see her face on Sunday when she graduates!

Our commitment

Drew & I declared during our LP today. We broke one of the ground rules. Meixiu, as you are aware, current LPs.... relationship.. you get the idea. As expected, we got 'grilled' by Suresh and now we have to commit to no 'funny ideas' until 99 days later.

Initially me & Drew were feeling really shitty. I was avoiding him the whole day. I even walked past him without looking at him. It stabbed him in the heart. Some of my LP mates came up to me and asked me to behave normally. Don't avoid Drew or not even speak to him. Just behave like normal LP mates. We just got to ensure that there's no funny business going on.

I was being selfish today. One of the LP mates came up to me and told me 'you guys shouldn't have broken the rules in the first place.' I was angry. I was angry with myself for persuading Drew to declare because he didn't want to do it initially. But Drew assured me that it's his choice to declare as well. He got stared at by a couple of people too. They were rolling their eyes at him. I could totally feel what he was experiencing.

We had a talk. Drew claimed there were no choices but I disagree. It was the best available choice at that point of time. We could have walked out of the LP. One of us could change LP. But we chose to stay in the same LP, and being committed to our stand.

If it's to be, it's up to me. Suresh is right. If it's real, 3 months is nothing. I told Drew that this is the final stage of the leader characteristic - fortifying. He agreed.

So now it's temporary goodbye to my beloved other half and welcome to my LP mate. I am committed to create this during my LP journey.

Bliss

Perhaps I have been treated 'badly' for the longest time. So now, I have learned to appreciate the little things in life.

Small little gestures nowadays gets me jumping for excitement.

Drew arranged a day of relaxation & rejuvenation at Holiday Inn Batam for me. How fortunate can I get...

And because of the vast difference in 'treatment', I am firm that I made a wise choice. Finally.

Presenting: Mr Spiderman!

Iron Eggs Anyone?

Drew came back last evening. As expected, he lugged his entire luggage to my place straight from the airport.

I wanted 'iron eggs' and a bottle of Pinot Noir and probably Canadian Club from DFS but our dear friend came back with:

- more than 20 packets of 'iron eggs' in various flavours
- 2 bottles of Cloudy Bay Pinot Noir
- 6 bottles of Hoegaarden
- 1 bottle of Vodka
- 1 bottle of Canadian Club
- Sony Ericsson Bluetooth Headset cum MP3 player

3 big plastic bags all for me! Goodness!

Furfurangel, Drew has your 'iron eggs'. He will pass it to you himself. Can build relationship with you mah. Haha.

And my dear Fanatic3, do let me know which flavour you want for the 'iron eggs'. I have more than enough 'Ma-la' and spicy ones. Otherwise, I'll bring some over to AW during my 1st weekend this Fri.

Oh yah, I had a talk with Pauline (Meixiu, if you're reading this, you will know Pauline from LP49. Yes, she's my advance small group leader.) and she pointed out a few things again. Apparently, I love being my nerdy self. I'm still thinking that I'm not good enough and I'm still making choices based on others. It was never about me. A word of advice from Pauline that strucked me deeply. 'Always remember your position in lifeboat and the 'giver - taker' exercise. '

I couldn't sleep last night. Memories of work flashed back into my mind. Days in Raffles, Corduroy and Thumper. And I see the same pattern happening. I REALLY have a damn short attention span. Raffles was probably due to the fact that my job scope changed 3 times over the 4 years. I realise that my decision to go back Thumper was not because of myself. I was afraid that I will not be able to hit my DOE goals. I was afraid of uncertainty. I was doing it out of gratitude to Boon because of his many sarcifices to me. And I felt really uncomfortable going back there.

This morning, it popped into my head. I realised the real reason I wanted to go back was Boon. I was being nerdy again, telling myself I shouldn't disappoint him and that I should appreciate bosses like him. See, it's all about others again. I thought I would be selfish not to go back but when I thought about Pauline's advice, I realised that I needed to take care of myself. That was my nerdiness. I enjoy telling myself this story that I shouldn't be selfish, I should take care of others and in fact, I wasn't taking care of myself. Lifeboat and giver-taker sinks in again. Yes Meixiu, I was the top voter for Lifeboat and obviously a giver - that says so much about me isn't it?

I feel relieved. And now, time to work on that analysing muscle of mine. What job should I do?

Sleepy Eyes

Its now over 2am and I'm still not asleep. Yes I am freaking tired but I'm keeping my eyes wide open cos Mr Spiderman is still sipping his red wine at some classy place in Taipei.

And that icon that appears on your toolbar whenever someone signs onto MSN is irritating the shit out of me. I have been staring at that icon for the longest time now and my eyes are gonna give way anytime soon. And each time I thought he has finally came online, it turns out to be a case of mistaken identity. Andomo lah! His MSN nick is Andomo S and I kept associating it with Annderlu when I clearly knew that this is not his nick in MSN. It's some crappy long team spirit / team building shit.

I need sleep, I need cooling soups. I can seriously feel the pimples popping out from my face soon cos of the late nights and smokes. Then again, I need to smoke more. I'm left with 4 more days before my senior starts wringing my neck once my LP journey starts on Fri. And for better or worse, I just found out that Jerry is one of my LP senior. I'm so getting shit from him from Fri onwards.

ARGH! I am still staring at the icons. Why on earth would so many people sign in at this time of the night?!!!

I'm gonna kick Spiderman's ass when he returns tomorrow.

Promoter

As expected by Jeremy & Steve, I am a promoter! I'm talking about the communication workshop that I just attended.

Too bad Drew is out of town, I think he's a cross between promoter and supporter. No worries, I shall 'grill' him a little when he gets online so I'll have a better idea. Haha.

Apparently, this is what my analysis says:

Skillful with words, assertive and driving, but has a strong feeling for human relations and wants people's esteem. Tries to 'sell' self to highly respected people. Strong beginner, creative, takes initiative, but may be weak finisher. Finds details and follow-up unnatural and difficult. Thinks in quick, bold strokes. Needs job structure to be more effective, but resists it, preferring freedom from restrains and limits. Tends to be dramatic, both to entertain and to manipulate or convince. Takes pleasure in influencing others.

So true!!!!!!

Boon called me today and offer to shift the entire marketing team to Ong&Ong's office for me. I'm stunned but feel deeply appreciated. I have been MMing non stop and this has got to stop. I need analyzers to help me out. Going to call Rick tomorrow.

Drew is coming back tomorrow and I'm damn excited! He's gonna be so touched by what I did when he was away. And yes, I'm still living my contract - intentionally!

At Peace

After all the hoo-ha and all the drama. We finally made peace with each other. He has moved on with his life and I shared with him about Drew as well.

I am glad that he is much stronger now and that he realised what he was doing to his own life previously. He is now responsible for his own life and the people around him.

I am proud. I just created what I wanted - an open, honest, trusting & loving relationship with all the men in my life, which includes him!

Take good care. You'll always be a friend that I care a lot for.

My nerdy self

I just vented on Drew. I can't help being my nerdy self again and started playing the blame game.

I blamed him for hiding his feelings during the advanced course and not being authentic. I blamed him for the many things that he didn't do during the training. After venting out the frustrations, I realised how stupid I was. I was being nerdy!

He's smart. He chose to keep quiet because he realised I was 'bitten by the bug' and wanted me to realise my own nerdiness.

No wonder Brandon kept saying that we complement each other so well. We are gonna be so great together!

Scared

I made a decision to go back Thumper last night. I was excited and full of energy!

Then the scariest thing happened, Che confronted me and so we had a trashing session about whatever happened in the past. I thought everything was ok and that it was over until Kevin called me and told me what Che told him - He's planning how to get rid of me once I rejoined the company.

I was feeling so uncomfortable the whole of last night that I couldn't even enjoy myself at Clarke Quay. I called Drew in Taipei and spoke to Brandon on MSN. They are being supportive but it doesn't help much.

ARGH! I wish Drew is back ASAP. I need to talk to him. Anyway, I'm leaving for AW now. Got Mastery graduation to attend. David, Za & Jie are in it.

From a passionate, committed & loving man

I am still unable to post videos from youtube.

This is his song to me:

Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

Advanced Course

I've completed my advanced course!!! Yeah! It wasn't easy but I made it through and had tons of fun thereafter!!!

And as of Tuesday, I am LP 72!!! So excited yet scared about it. But that's cos I'm alive!

Some pics from Graduation.

Jie, Me & Steve

Jie, Uncle Albert & SteveMy buddy Don & JieDavid & Patricia - My small group matesMe & Andrew

SA73Me & Jie

Random

I didn't make it for brunch with Nic at Bar & Billiard Room today. I'm sorry Nic. Will make it up to you before you leave for France.

I am amazed at how diligent I can get these days. I just cleaned the toilets. As in really cleaned. I spent a whole hour doing it. And now I'm immensely satisfied with the results. *beams*

Junk delivered food to me earlier. He is as usual damn sweet. I told him I love him and wanted to hug him and his reply to me was: 'Don't come AW me.' Hahaha. This is the most popular reply I've heard from everyone around me for the past week.

Ah Zan, Gracie & Feifeizhu are saying that I'm suffering from the AW poison. If only they know what exactly happened during the 5 days we're there. Quoted from Missy aka Brandon 'it's a miracle!' Now we understand why friends & relatives who has done AW sent us off in such a touching way. I can still recall Jie's facial expression when I was sitting in the room and her standing at the door, waving goodbye to me. It was comparable to parents sending their kids off to K1 or sending their son off to Army. Argh! I miss my basic!

I spoke to Rick. And yes again, on MSN. (Jerry is so gonna kill me.) We arranged to have coffee after CNY.

Jie is going through her 2nd weekend at LP now. I'm worried if she can take it till the 3rd weekend. I told her the other night that I love her.

SB 74 First Outing

Kelvin asked me to organise a gathering on Sat and left me be. I was panicking when it was Friday afternoon and there were only 6 RSVPs. There were no BBQ pits nor confirmed no. of pax. I changed my mind and made it into a steamboat affair instead.

I told Captain I was demoralised and they made it happen for me. We had 20 adults + 2 kids who showed up!

We had steamboat at Beach Road followed by KTV at Kallang Leisure Park.

SB 74

Captain & his adorable kids.

Did I mentioned that I've fallen in love with little angel Ariel?

Kallang Leisure Park

The room at K box looks more like a function room!

Andrew & me

Ariel giving Daddy a massage

Kelvin - my fisherman counterpart

Chwen, Jennifer & meOur sumptuous Hotpot

My family in AW

Guest Event

Today's my guest event at AW. I was supposed to bring 3 guests but my small group is short of one. Zan can't make it either because she's sick. I had to find 2 more people at such a short notice! Oh God!

Being committed, I called so many people and thank you to those who came. Thank you Patrick, Lawrence & Junk. Especially Lawrence because he rushed his way down from Malaysia. And Amiko, although you didn't show up, I hope you can make it for the next guest event.

It was good seeing the big 'family' again. AW has indeed changed my life. Jie told me that she looked up to me and that I'm her inspiration now. And of course, naturally, tears flowed when we were sharing again. Mum called too and she was happy to hear about the transformation. So much so that she even suggested us to bring Boy for the course! Haha.

Thank you Junk. Thank you for showing up today and being so open about it.

And guess what, Kay told me that I'm displaying qualities of LP even though I'm only in Basic. I also heard from one of the small group leaders that Basic74 is a tremendously fast moving group, and the most fun!

Salsa Night

Today I kept my word and showed up at Thumper where I had my 1st ever Salsa lesson. For once, dancing was a nightmare to me. I couldn't co-ordinate my hands & legs!!! Everyone was laughing and we were like 'duck leg duck hand'.

About 8 to 10 of us from AW showed up. Anyway, we had fun and yes, we are still all very talkative. Still discussing about the course and excited about advanced.

I spoke to Furfurangel just now. I shared with her how AW changed our lives. The quiet ones came out talkative. The bo chap ones came out passionate. The bored ones came out fun. That's the difference. I'm glad Ryn, Junk & Zan are going for my guest event tomorrow. And Furfurangel, you'd better keep your promise to attend the next guest event.

Post ALI

Today I broke my 1st agreement. I didn't show up for my meeting with my IO. I just wanted to sleep.

Anyway, I had the longest MSN conversation with him. I shared. With emotions & tears. And I felt the connection. We are now so much more connected as compared to before. I gave up maintaining my image and being right.

Advanced Living Interview

I signed up for my Advanced this evening during my ALI. So excited. And today, I realised it's really no accident how I met Kelvin. We had the same background!!!

HP has been ringing non stop since morning cos all the basic mates are calling and texting. Everyone is on a adrenaline rush! I got a little low today cos of the choice I need to make regarding work and no accident again, Sharon called me! She saw something I couldn't see and then my emo shoot way up! I made my stand and handled the things I need to. Boon got so shocked that he started googling about AW! Haha.

And no accident again, the AW basic team had a Salsa gathering... at Thumper! Hahaha.

Anyway, he called me today to check on my emotions. I am glad he called.

I hugged my dad today and told him I love him.

AW Basic

Today I graduated from AW basic. It was a SPECTACULAR moment.

I've gained really close friends like Brandon (my buddy!), Federick (my Belgium Godpa) and Derek.

Jie came for my graduation. As usual, we burst into tears when we saw each other. I made a few phone calls to him during my breaks, asking him to come. He kept telling me 'if you see me, you see me. If you don't, you don't.' When I opened up my eyes, I saw Jie standing in front of me and right behind her, a mere 1m away was him. I cried when I was hugging him. He came. And I made a choice. Brandon made me take a big risk. I was honest and told him how I felt. Yes Zan, I did. And I'm very proud.

Specially for you

I couldn't get to sleep last night till 8am this morning. Was thinking about this post. So finally, here I am, penning this down for you.

I missed you.

I missed spending weekends with you. To the library, to your place for project and midnight movies thereafter.

I missed you calling me baby and me calling you darling.

I missed you being there wherever I go.

I missed others calling us 'buy 1 get 1 free'.

I missed sleeping on your bed, cuddling the stupid donkey I bought for you years ago.

I missed the roses you bought for me during Valentine's Day.

I missed the peeping tom shit we did in Bintan.

I missed the body ache and leg pain after our shopping spree in Bangkok.

I missed the fortnight night out at China Bar back then when we will drool over John.

I missed the same bag, slipper, coin purse, singlet that we both have.

I missed the dinner every Sat at your place.

I missed watching the SCV at your living room and laughing by myself.

I missed all the tears, sorrows, joy and happiness we shared.

I miss you. Goh Hui Geng.

AW Basic

I've just finished my 2nd day of AW Basic training. Am still feeling excited about what the training will bring for the next 3 days. It's only 2 days and I'm already feeling good. Something good will come out from these 5 days.

Jie, I think I made your money worth. Your dear sister me is on time everyday and from every break!

Anyway, I'm doing what Uncle Rick & Uncle Phillip told me to. 'The more you share, the more you gain.' So guess what, I shared a lot. I told them my pathetic life story. Haha.

Anyway Zan, here's something for you. I got this pic of the wedding support team from Jerry's friendster. See for yourself and guess the person. *wink*

Soulmate

I actually confided in someone. I couldn't tell my closest sister. I couldn't tell my beloved Zan. Not even Lulu whom I shared so much with. I can't even tell my uncle agony Holman. And little did I expect, I told Patrick. A friend I knew from a Lush 99.5FM photoshoot back in Raffles day.

I told Patrick everything. The truth. The real story. The missing truth that Jie & Zan has been probing me about. It feels so good now. It feels good when you let it all out. At least someone out there knows about it. At least someone out there knows how to consol me if anything.

I'm looking forward to my AW basic training next week. And my dear friend has volunteered to be my chauffeur throughout the entire week. Thank you Patrick.

Congratulations

I've finally told D the way I feel. After surpressing for so long, I've admitted to him my true feelings. There's nothing to lose now anyway. Well, at least I know I'll have no regrets.

D, congratulations.

I danced

After Zouk Out in 2006, I haven't been really enjoying myself in clubs. No matter where I go, I automatically zoomed into this work hazard zone. Observing the collaterals, taking note of their promotions, analyzing the crowd, etc.

Finally, for once. I clubbed. Really clubbed. And danced. Even Zan who have not danced for the longest time, danced with me!~

To Cherine - Thanks for the night darling. And finally, good Greygoose vodka!

To my boys:
David S - Happy Birthday tall freak!
Daniel J - It was a top I was wearing, not a dress! And yes, I will remember to watch you guys on Deal or no Deal.

Presenting Le Noir & Attica Too!

NYE Mayhem

Finally!

Sorry guys, didn't have the time to post it up (or rather, didn't logged onto blogger to do so). Anyways, here's NYE.

Fi & I are both blaming the fatal vodka shots! Nice, sweet tasting but damn fatal! I did a Merlion in the middle of the BKE. Sorry Ross, I made your car smelled like Apple Sour! Haha.

My Xmas

I've stolen these pictures from Zan. Who asked her to be the only one with the pics? :)

So here goes my Xmas:

1. A fanatic-3 pre Xmas dinner

Isa couldn't make it so it's the 3 of us. Too bad everyone had to leave earlier. I promised Dee I will be at Mimolette too. Zan, you were too busy taking pics of us, you missed yourself out.

2. Xmas eve dinner

I almost bought the entire supermarket home. Was happily throwing everything into my trolley and whistling to Xmas carols until it hit me how heavy the stuff were. I suffered from severe backache the day after. Anyway, I cooked. BIG time. Zan couldn't believe and thought I lugged everything back from the supermarket. It's freshly-made ok!!!

Let's see what I made: Grilled striploin with milk sauce, apple & potato waldorf salad, mixed greens with vinaigrette, spaghetti aglio olio, honey baked ham & roasted pork knuckles! Ok lah, so the pork knuckles & ham came ready made...

We (Bian, Zan, Jie & Thomas) spent the night wining, dining and talking till morning... Nice.

A Thankful Xmas

I'm having a thankful Xmas.

I thank God for the beautiful beautiful necklace I got from Zan. I thank God for my lovely 'Godsister' & 5xbest friend Dee (which comes with my 'God-daughter Mila). I thank God for my bimbotic sister who eats the dinner I cooked. I thank God for Mr Mikey Jerry Ooi as my gossip partner. I thank God for my companion that irriates the hell out of me everyday - Junk. And I thank God for all the people I love. Thank you God.

*I think I'm still drunk*

Grey's Anatomy

I have a new nickname. They call me Meredith Grey a.k.a. the philandering whore in the show (called by Mark Sloan). I am not.

I think I am drunk as I'm typing this. *Hiccups*

Recuperation

I am thinking of taking a backpacking trip to Krabi / Phi Phi for about a week. I think I need some time away to rest and recuperate.

Initially wanted to go Hanoi but it would burst my budget. The airfare was a good $300 difference. Like I said, backpacking trip. And that means budget, budget & budget.

I also thought about taking up Rhumba dance classes. It's something I wanted to do for the longest time now.

And what about finishing my advanced course in Landmark Education. Furfurangel, what do you think?

Maybe I should go back to doing my yoga. What about jogging in the middle of the night?

Absolute Junk

Was feeling pretty down the other day. Junk volunteered to 'light up my life'.

He pulled a few cables & lighted upthe absolutes in his room.

For you

Something is wrong with my blog again. I can't post youtube videos up. So here's the lyrics. It's meant for you junk - I hope it certainly brought back some wonderful memories.


"Blind" - Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

Sadist

Abstracted from another episode of Grey's Anatomy:

Why do we always hit our heads with hammers? Because it feels so good when you stop.

I think I am done hitting myself. It's time to feel good.

Carer

I am officially a carer. I can't say caretaker cos Zach said its for the dead. So anyway, I am now taking care of a sick crippled-for-a-few-months fellow. I am officially taking care of someone. Haha. Lucky Zach.

Intimacy

Reading Feifeizhu's blog, it set me into thinking about the quote that I gave her from Grey's Anatomy - Intimacy translates to: Here, take my heart and soul, make them into a hamburger and enjoy.

Is intimacy really that scary? I thought intimacy is good? Well, I have to agree that the closer you are to someone, the worst it'll hurt if something happens right? But then again, why didn't anyone thought of the good part? Like how intimacy can bring 2 strangers together. How intimacy can bring the best out of someone or how intimacy can change a person or how intimacy can bring about the happiest moments in your life.

For me, I love intimacy. I love it when I know that there is someone out there constantly thinking of me. I love it when I know that there is someone who will kiss me goodnight and tuck me to bed every night. And the very fact that that someone will do whatever it takes to bring a smile across my face. Intimacy is good. And I'm enjoying it.

I have a life!

Finally. I have a life to call my own now!

I'm having a good time trying to finish up Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy.

Am finally going shopping with Gracie today. Tomorrow would be dinner and Martell event with the BA (bimbo alliance). Friday would be dinner with my dearest Fanatic 4.

Thank God I have a life.

My itinerary

The itinerary has been set.

Week 1 - Victoria & shopping
Week 2 - Phillip Island & Great Ocean Road
Week 3 - Adelaide (Kangaroo Island, Barossa, McLaren Vale, Victor Harbor, Central Market, Glenelg)
Week 4 - Brisbane (Gold Coast - Movie World, Sea World, Dream World, Surfers' Paradise, Sunshine Castle, Glasshouse mountains, Direct Factory Outlet)
Week 5 - Auckland (Sky Tower, Matamat, Kiwi360) & Christchurch (Hagglund, Cathedral Square, Cashmere Hill, Milford Sound, Ko Tare)
Week 6 - Back to Melbourne

Go be envious and get really jealous...

Realisation

We did a trial yesterday and it proved successful. Did you guys know that we can actually create inbox smses in our mobilephone ourselves? Interesting isn’t it? Now, we can easily forge sms sent to us by others. How nice.. Am sure it will come in handy one day.

Anyway, it’s always good to have a high opinion of yourself even when all others disagree. It will help in boosting your self-esteem. I think this may be good in assisting those lacking in self confidence.

Kind souls ain't worth anything (2)

Remember my previous post about how you shouldn’t be good to people because they will only turn around and stabbed you at the back? It happened to me again.

I put in my heart & soul for you. I sloughed an average of 16 hours per day, 6 days a week for you. When I’m broke, I drew from my credit card, to pay for the huge expenses incurred. Even when I’m sick, I showed up, completing everything that I need to.

After all these effort and hardwork, you are now accusing me of things. Things that I’ve not done. Things that I’m not even aware of. Just because it’s convenient? I’m disappointed. You reassured me that my decision to leave is a wise choice.

Blogging again

I must be too distracted. With the long working hours, the rise of facebook, etc. I simply forgot to blog. Hee... Actually, I did. Many a times I would type a few words in the new post column but would always close the window before I can finish up. And by the time I recall about the unpublished post, it would have been long overdue.

So anyways, I'm back (hopefully). Will make a concerted effort to blog again though.

Well well, let's start. Where did I leave at the last time? Thumper's opening. Yes.

Work's still the same. Busy like nobody's business. Thankfully I got myself a new assistant. A fast learner and a hard worker. Praise the Lord! Then again, I guess it's time for me to move on. I know what you're thinking. SO FAST RIGHT? Not really. It's probably the hours that has taken a load on me. Haven't been feeling well recently. The old signs are appearing out of nowhere again. Backache. Migraine. And as much as I would want to rest well, I just cannot afford the time to. It's a daily fire fighting business back in the office. Anyway, yes, I'm moving on soon. Have spoken to the bosses about it several times, only to be told to reconsider. But now that my health is deteriorating, I guess it's time to put a stop and do a check at my lifestyle. The hours are just too abnormal. I know exactly what you guys will say. 'Kel, your health has always been bad. You should start taking care of yourself.' Some of you will go 'You should start exercising and you should cut down on your smoking...' Yes, I am well aware. But if you know me that well, you will also remember that I will always (unintentionally) forget my meals or overlook the time when I'm busy. 'Focused is always good but overworking is not.' - laments the people around me.

Anyway, to cut the long story short. (pardon me for a while, my last post was more than a month ago leh!) I'm leaving for Melbourne with him. My intention was to take a break for a month or so, to recuperate. But he's thinking otherwise. His aunt has even found me a job there! Is that fast or what? I will be throwing in my letter next week and if all goes well, we should be heading back in early Dec. Will keep you folks updated.

That's it! It's 3.21am now and I need to rest.

Tired

Both of us are working from morning till night everyday. The only time we get is the 5min conversation in bed before we drift off to slumberland.

It has been a hectic month. Tons of deadline, tons of work to be done, tons to follow up. It’s never ending.

If only I could have a day with a full 8 hour sleep. If only I could have a weekend all to myself without my mobile ringing. If only I could leave the office one day like a normal office worker. If only I could just work 8 hours a day. If only I could rest a day when I’m sick without a thousand phone calls. If only I could take a day off to relax & rejuvenate without having to face the hundreds of emails the day after.

Tired.

BUSY!

Judging from my blog entries, you can guess as much how busy I am. Yes, the BIG DAY is finally over! But I still erm.. another 4 launch parties to go and 4 upcoming concerts to be busy with. Yes my dearest Fanatic4, I know I've been neglecting you girls but hey! i think of you girls and invited you down for my launch. Angryness, but none of you showed up! Even Ms furfurangel, apparently my free flow for 4 hours ain't enticing enough for you. But nevermind, we had a freaking 800 people RSVPing when our capacity is only 500!

Anyway, too bad you girls missed out, here's some pics for you. It's a red carpet launch party anyway.

Updates

Sorry folks. I know I've been very lagged in my postings. And that's because I'm super dupy busy!!!!

With the soft launch over and the official coming up, there's tons to do. Especially now that my after-hour party's gonna start and my concerts coming soon! There's just so much to do and sooooo.... little time.

Anyway, for some updates:

- Set on buying a brown coloured toy poddle. Don't ask me, it's just so bloody cute~! We're gonna name it hmm... bourbon! Haha. Yah, buy another one and call it coke right?

- The date's set guys. Yes, finally. It's 08 Aug 08. Can you guys pleaseeee... block your calendar. It's lunar 7th month but what the heck! Girlfriends in office have guaranteed it will definitely be a hell of a partie!!!

- Trip to Melbourne confirmed in late Nov. I need to take leave, like now! (Lulu, please don't beat me to it! I really need the leave lah...)

- We missed the 16th Aug deadline. I thought it was 17th, so there goes my Masionette in Serangoon. But anyways, we're waiting for the next selection in Oct.

Anyway, gotta go. Update soon.

My Sweet25!

I swear this is my most happening birthday ever! Thanks to everyone who made it so memorable.

First, darling surprised me with a bouquet of roses delivered to the office the day before.

Then, my dearest managers went around telling guests that it was my birthday and not surprisingly, I had to drink a LOT of cognac straight ups. By 12mn, all managers & band members were already surrounding me, popping champagne, singing birthday songs. I had no darn idea what happened but I was singing & dancing on stage with my band in front of all the customers! And lulu had everything videotaped. How nice...

Left for MOS at 12plus. Trust me, I am so not going back MOS for the next 2 years. Being extremely intoxicated, I walked into the club saying hi to EVERY stranger that walks past me!!!! Holding onto a bouquet of flowers, Lulu told me the next day that I was literally behaving like a Ms Universe who had just won her crown! *Embarassed*

Anyway, I puked. Badly. In the taxi. On the flowers. In my Tiffany&Co paperbag that had darling's present to me in it! He threw everything away except for the necklace of course.

Nicky boi bought me lunch at Brasserie Wolf (the mussels are to die for!) and I had dinner with my girls at Mimolette.









Then it was all party whole night at Thumper! And yes, another performance of mine on stage.




Don't ask me why girls, but our pictures are all on Thumper's website!!!!

Desire

After going to Holman's housewarming party last Sat, I am now sooooooooo..... tempted to go buy myself a house & dress it up nicely!

I am so getting that masionette flat in Whampoa at all expense! It's costing me $500k but I don't care, even if it means Koochie selling his ass to get the money! (FYI, I've already told him to prepare himself mentally for this.) Haha.

Can you guess?

He brought me to Borders because I wanted breakfast (what's new) at 5pm and we came across this contest to win $1000 cash.

Can you guess?

I have a feeling that its Honda DC5 but he thinks it may be the new Chervolet or a Subaru Legacy.

Shooter anyone?

I asked for a small glass of coke.

I was served coke in a shooter glass.

this is how cheeky my bar boys can get.

Sweet 25

My bar boys are starting to count down to my birthday already. I got my first birthday ‘present’ from them last Mon. Hahaha.

Meant for the Fanatic4:

I want a new namecard holder. I lost, for the gazillion times now, my namecard holder again! I’ve already told Ah Zan what I wanted. Gracie, Ah Zan & me will very soon, have the same brand of namecard holder. Haha

Late nights

Hey guys

Sorry for the lapse in my postings. It's been crazeh!!! I'm working from 9am to 2am almost everyday, rushing to open the outlet in time.

Gracie has been complaining that I'm not even replying to her messages and Koochie is lamenting to me every night about spending quality time together. I even forgot our dinner date because I totally lost track of time and ended up working till 1am yesterday.

2 more weeks. Just give me 2 more weeks. I need to make sure everything is ok before I can rest my mind. And I'll make sure I take a day off to the beach with you ok?

Anyway, work was worthwhile because I get dinner & supper delivered to my office.


Thank you for being so understanding. Love ya.

Made my day

I went over to the 7-eleven at Far East Plaza to buy a packet of cigarettes.

The lady asked to see my id. She really made my day. *all smiles*

Opening

Its now 12.07am and I'm still in office. Yes I know I'm blogging but that's because my dear darling has yet to reach! He's apparently taking his own sweet time as usual...

The bar's opening on Monday for a dry run, followed by pre-registration parties for the rest of the month. It is one BIG chaotic mess now. Everybody's panicking about their own area and the bosses are putting on pressure. Nevertheless, I'm still enjoying myself.. the cocktail tastings... the light & sound testings... and I absolutely love the fact that Andomo specially spins Electrohouse when testing the equipments.

The reno's 95% completed. And trust me, it is looking REALLY good. Don't worry people, most of you are already in the list for the pre-registration parties (Nic boi boi, Gracie, Ah Zan, Feifeizhu, Furfurangel, Antonius, Adel, etc.)

I'm toying with the idea of buying my own bottle at staff price (if there are any) and keeping it in the bar. I really think it's gonna be the next place to see and be seen. Nasen dropped by today and he was impressed too. This will be Didi's hangout from now onwards cos we have chambord in the house!!!

Chopped

After deliberating for a few weeks, I finally stepped into Manfred's salon and got a haircut. No, not my usual trim and treatment. (Gracie, I'm not a traitor ok! Pauline couldn't extend her hours for me...) Koochie left me for a few hours back to the restaurant and I showed up 4 hours later looking like his new gf.
So it's Good Goodbye to my long wavy hair for the past 4 years.

Men

Believe me, you can never trust men to do something GOOD. He assured me that it will be nice & pretty.

He ended up buying this for our journal when I was at work.



ARGH! He said it was pretty! I pouted.

Anyway, we finally went to Mellben Seafood at Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 to satisfy that crab craving of mine. After a 45min wait for our creamy butter crab, he said it wasn't THAT nice.
RRRROARRRRR!! You didn't wanted that famous crab bee hoon and now you're complaining! Nevermind, Gracie & Esther, let's go the week after for some oh-so-good crab bee hoon!

Broken Ear

I accidentally knocked Piggy against my cabinet. And one of his ear dropped off. Now I have a one-eared pig speaker. Sorry Andomo...

Ah Ma Lor Ba - The Sequel

After her numerous requests, me & Koochie finally brought Mich to Ah Ma Lor Ba.

The conclusion was the same as my first visit with Koochie.


Mich - stuffed & satisfied

Suffocated Pig

Office's aircon broke down today.

I didn't realise that my piggy speaker fainted too due to the humidity & heat.

PIGGY AT NORMAL TIMES


TODAY'S PIGGY

Progress

He did the sweetest thing last night. We went to buy a book. A nice empty notebook. To be used as a journal for the 2 of us. He wanted to pen down every little details of our life. Happy moments, sweet moments, arguments, etc.

And we finally had something together. He created a friendster account meant for us. Silly childish but sweet.

Settled

We argued. We compromised. We finally reached an agreement.

Melissa Nicole Ooi it shall be.

All by myself....

Finally met up with Esther for brunch. It's been the longest time since I last saw her.. Missed her birthday celebration at Attica 2 weeks ago too. Hey girl, it was GREAT seeing you. And don't forget our date for the housewarming. =)

Darling picked me up from Wine Garage after my brunch and we ended back at Mimo again. Was working off my laptop the entire day, scenery was not too bad though.


It was fully booked at the restaurant but Mich said that darling reserved a table for me for dinner. It's true lah. I ended up having dinner there.. All by myself.. How pathetic. A nice table at a fanciful restaurant with just.. one table setting...

Jaded

Don't ask me what I want. Don't ask me what I need. Because I have no idea too.

(One)
If you are used to hiring incompetent staff, that's your own problem. Don't spoonfeed all of us. We don't need that. If we weren't that good, we wouldn't have landed ourselves good jobs in the past. Plus, you wouldn't have poached us over with a high pay.

(Two)
Honestly, I don't even know if you should be so nice to me. I know your intentions. But really, I'm still questioning if I should even trust you. I see your effort and I feel your sincerity. But I can't get over myself.

(Three)
It's bloody 2 years. Can we just get the thesis over & done with?

(Four)
Stop sending all those bills to me anymore. You know I don't even read them. I simply pay, pay & pay every month! And stop. Stop asking me if I'm interested to apply for some more platinum cards. I'm about to cancel 2 of them already.

My Brazilian Name

My Brazilian name is Tio.. hahaha.. and Darling's is Ooinho.... What's yours?

http://www.minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml

My Sunday

Woke up early on Sunday - something which I've not done for the longest time. Amas wanted to go beach but I have a meeting with boss at 11am!!! URGH!

Planned to have lunch with Gracie after my meeting but our dear girl was too busy shopping with her husband at Suntec so I ended up at Mimolette. After a glass of margarita, I have this strong craving for breakfast item at 2pm but C&F is closed for renovation. Darling brought me to this ulu cosy little cafe at Clementi.






If you realise, it's the same cafe that is in Channel 8's 9pm drama serial. The one that Qianru's mum runs!! Haha. I didn't realise it until last evening.

Anyway, my two dearest people came home! Lao Peh & Ah Bu. I miss them so much. If only they don't travel so much... Them being young at heart, or rather kids at heart... they are now hooked onto this new game. Something they have been working on every single day at home! Lao Peh even bought a new notebook just for this! What's new.. my parents..

Encore

Oh by the way, please continue to write whatever you wished. It's your blog afterall. It's something all of us have no control over. I have moved on. I have no interest in whatever happened between the 2 of you in the past anymore.

And also, are you sure it's the grandma's ring? Because Aunty Hazel just spoke to me the other week, telling me that she's getting Chris to ship the ring down from Melbourne for me. Hmmm. Something to ponder upon though.

Oh, we decided not to use Louisa May anymore - although it was a name he wanted since he was a kid, we decided on something that bears significance to us instead.

Oh yes I did

I read the myspace page. Yes I definitely did.

And it all started when I was minding my own business while someone took the effort to find out where I am working currently and sent an email to my office address, adding me on myspace.

A lot of effort put in definitely. Not wanting to disappoint this person, I of course, read the other related blogs - obviously, this person has a lot to tell me, given all these that she's done. I shall oblige.

Flattered

I am flattered. I am amazed at the extent of things you would do just to get my attention.

Anyway, you surprised me. How did you manage to know that Louisa May Ooi is on the way when we didn't tell anyone about it? Thank you for the blessing.

Easter balls?

I came across this when going through the myspace website for my guest artiste.

This is seriously wicked man!!!

We're moving!

Finally. After 2 whole months here in ulu Leng Kee... We're finally moving back to where we belong - Orchard Road!!! Happiest!!!

Now I can shop to my heart's content during lunch time, feast on the myriad of delicious goodies and even do my mani / pedi! Kekekeke.

nicknames

For a period of time, I was called "Bui" - translated to 'fat' in hokkien lah.

Then it became, "Xiao bu dian".

Then it evolved into "Dino Toe" followed by "Booboo bear".

Last night, a new one came about when I was drifting away to slumberland.

"Da tou ying" - Big Head Owl!!!!!

URGH!!!!!

You stupid Yogi Bear cum Skinny Tom cum "Xi Wei Kia"!!! Stop giving me these funny names lah!!!! The usual endearing terms already suffices!!!!

Camping Trip

After a long tired night at Movida with the gang, Yogi bear picked me up and suggested going camping. No, I'm not kidding. He wanted to go camping at 4am in the morning!

So he sent me home to pack for the trip. At 5am, we were laying sleeping bags, etc.. and camping at West Coast Park... Amazing.

Crazee...

All of us went to watch Mamat at Powerhouse last evening as he compete in the Barcadi Martini Flair Competition... As expected, he won!!! - Me & Luann nearly lost our voice cheering for him.

After several jugs of triple shots Barcadi Cranberry, breezer, beer & God knows what other liquor, we were behaving very..... happily.

My little applebum

I was scanning through Luann's friendster and it struck me that our dear little applebum here resembles Hongkong artiste Gigi Leung! Not bad arh girl.

Applebum


Gigi Leung

I just

See the resemblance? Anyway, I just have to tell everyone that I nicknamed her Applebum cos her bum is round & perky like an apple!!!

Men & their needyness

Do men get needy after they reach their comfort zone in a relationship?

Mich mentioned several times that Yogi is sticky to me. "He's very dependable on you. He sticks to you all the time. He calls you every other hour and talks about you all the time at work. He even sings about you!" Hmm....

I was talking to Mich & Carine during dinner whilst Yogi was yakking away about some stuff... It's either I have selective hearing or I'm too engrossed in my conversation with the girls, I didn't hear a word he said. "Oei!!!! I'm talking to you!!!" he screamed when he's not getting the attention. The girls burst into laughter.

Was driving to work when he started yakking again. Being the usual quiet self in the mornings, he turned to me "We're supposed to spend quality time together. We are supposed to talk to each other!!!" Huh???

He called after dropping me at work, "Not even a thank you for sending you to work this morning?"

Since when did men get so needy? Adel asked me what I've done to him. I have no darn idea too...

I love my bitches!

It came a bit late but Happy Birthday Isa & Gracie. I love you girls.

Commitment Phobia

Is there a minimum amount of time a couple should be together before they tie the knot?

Ah Zan told me that there was a saying, "together for a year and engaged for a year" which translates to a minimum of 2 years. After seeing my failed engagement with D, ah bu told me not to drag it further. "Give it a good 1, 2 years and you can get married. No point being together for too long and it doesn't work out. Complete waste of time."

I asked Holman why he decided to marry Grace. Is it because of love? Once again, he blew my mind off by highlighting the fact that most of us do love the other party whenever we are in a serious relationship. How many serious relationship can there be in your life? The lucky ones have one. Most of us have a couple. And does that mean that you'll have to marry each and every one of them? He's right. I once loved my first boyfriend of 2 years. I once loved D and thought we could be together for life. And, I also once love Liebling as well. OK, fine - I had 3. And the very difference why he chose to marry Grace and not the others is simply because he KNEW he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He KNEW he wanted to see that same face when he wakes up every morning. Sweet.

I asked Gracie why she chose to get married. She told me that she found a man who loves her more than anyone else and she KNEW that he'll continue to love her and be there for her for the rest of her life. Lucky her. How many of us can be sure of that? Having said that, I should have got married to D back then isn’t it? Well, he’s one man I KNEW back then too, that will love me and be there for me for the rest of my life. I also KNEW that he loves me more than anyone else. But then again, why didn’t I marry him?

After seeing failed relationships and marriages among my friends, I had doubts too. The couple who once swore upon their life on the marriage ends up separated too. The couple that spend a good nine years together broke up too. It’s simply a rat race that everyone gets themselves into isn’t it?

A couple meets. They get together. After a couple of years when things go stale. They figured that a marriage could make things work. After a few years into marriage, things turn bad. They figured that a baby could liven it up. The circle just continues.

Am I being too cynical here? I once had a major commitment phobia issue. Yes, that explains why men’s shelf life to me is only 3 months. I chose not to commit. I chose to keep my options open. I chose to leave when the men gets too needy. My life to me was just my life. It doesn’t have to involve another person. Well, D came along but I was still the same – it’s just that it lasted a lot longer as compared to the rest. I rejected D’s proposal twice in our relationship of 4 years. I just, wasn’t ready. I was ready for commitment then but not ready for marriage.

Call me old fashion or traditional or whatsoever. I believe that a marriage is sacred. I believe that a marriage is for life. I’m not the kind who will throw in the towel when something screws up in a marriage. I fight. I endure. I will do whatever I can, to sustain the marriage or family. That’s me. And precisely because I know myself too well, I’m just so afraid of marrying the wrong person. Because I know, no matter what happens, I will stick through it until the very end. Ok, the only exception is abusive behaviour, gambling addict or infidelity. I still love myself no matter what and I know what I do or do not deserve.

I was so close to getting married 2 years ago. One by one, my friends are exchanging their vows. Is it peer pressure? Or is it because I am ready for marriage? I told myself that I will not screw it up another time. The next guy that comes along will be one lucky fellow. And I said to myself that I want to get married with the next person I fall in love with – Don’t worry. I don’t fall in love easily. I can’t even say I love you to most of my ex boyfriends. It took me a good 2 years before I can really tell D that I loved him.

I wanted to get married. I wanted to settle down soon. But now that it’s all nearing. I’m scared. Is this what you consider a commitment phobia or a pre-marital phobia? He had plans months ago. He KNEW what he wanted. He KNEW that he will marry me. He KNEW that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He KNEW that he was sure about everything. But I don’t know

Seeing him all geared up, sharing with me plans about our future. I don’t know what to say. The engagement ring, registering for a house, introducing me as his fiancée, telling everyone that we’re getting married next year… I’m speechless.

I love him I do. But I don’t know if I’m ready for marriage now. Yes I told him before we got together that I’m not looking for a boyfriend but a husband instead. But I can’t take my words back now for sure.

I guess Holman is right afterall. Give it year. There’s nothing to lose. We’ll speak again next year.

I am engaged?

Was drinking with Mich, Mark & Yogi Bear at Que Pasa the other day. We walked out of the bar and bumped into Yogi's cousin's long time classmate back in St Joseph's Institution.

Yogi: Hey hi! How have you been man! By the way, meet my fiancee Kelly.
Me: *stunned + paused for a while* oh hi.

HUH? Since when did I get myself engaged? When was my proposal? Sobz... I DUN WANTING!!! My dream of a fairytale, romantic, mind blowing proposal MUST take place!!!! Sobz...

I love my job

I am starting to love my job. It's 10am in the morning and I'm sitting by the poolside, sipping away my grapefruit juice, with my smokes & working from my ibook. How nice can my job get...

We shall try...

Perhaps I should start a new blog entitled: "The adventures of Luann & Kelly". Apparently the two of us are always in some kind of circumstances... This morning was no exception.

Both of us woke up bloody early at 7am and arranged to meet at 8am to go work. I boarded the cab at 8.05am and reached Luann's place at about 8.15am. We were supposed to reach office at 9am - which we, by right still have plenty of time.

It was 8.55am and we were still at..... Upper Thomson Road!!! Can you imagine this??? 45 mins in the taxi for a mere 2 train stops away. We decided to drop at Yio Chu kang and take the train instead. Every freaking place in Singapore is jammed this morning!!! Right from our door steps!

This is total embarassement but we paid $20 for a cab ride from Sembawang to Yio Chu Kang that took us one full hour! And we reached office at 10am!

We shall.. no matter how hard it is, encourage each other and be there for each other as we take the train to work every morning from tomorrow onwards.... sobz...

Love = Faith

My dear Yogi bear slept till the cows came home last Saturday. Was supposed to meet him at about 1pm after my meeting but apparently our dear friend got home at 5am instead. Didn’t want to disturb his sleep, I went to meet Joy for coffee before she flies off to Japan the next day.

Joy brought me to her church that evening – something she wanted to do for the longest time now. And yes, we went. It’s call the Heart of God or something like this.

Anyway, I just wanted to share something that the pastor shares. Nope. Nothing religious to that sort. It’s real and very true. The topic was on: LOVE.

Abstract of the sermon:

- To love someone, you must have faith. Without faith, you are unable to love someone. It’s true. How can you love someone when you have doubts or fears? When you love someone, you are vulnerable. It’s human nature to hate being vulnerable so we guard ourselves in order not to get hurt. And when you guard yourself, how are you able then, to love someone wholeheartedly? That’s why it requires faith to love. When you really truly love someone, you open up your heart with the possibility that they will hurt you. But because you love them, you do it with faith that they will never do it. That’s why love & faith are twins.

- The strength & motivation of fear & insecurity is selfishness. When you fear something, or feel insecure about something, it’s because of selfishness. You fear that your bf will cheat on you, because YOU don’t want to get hurt. You fear of public speaking because YOU don’t want to get embarrassed. You always fear of something because YOU don’t want to get into some kind of situation. That’s why fear & insecurity all boils down to selfishness.

- Have faith. Even if you do not have faith in that person that you love. Love that person because you have faith in God that he will make all things good. Even if he does hurt you, have faith that God will compensate you in other aspects of your life. And compensation is usually ten times more than what you lost.

I teared several times during the service. It was a good sermon. It touched me deep down in my heart and I felt the reality in it. Am intending to bring Yogi bear there the next time round.

Sissy????

I had coffee with jie last night at Coffee Bean. As per normal practice, the cashier asked for her name to be written down on the cover of the drink. I replied, "CC." Well, that's jie's name, or rather she preferred to be called that.

The drink came and it became:

Positions available

Lelong lelong!

Positions available again people. Now on the search for hostess aka door bitch and cashiers at a danceclub.

Let me know if you have friends to intro. Thanks.

Finally - some sun!

Was all geared up for Sentosa two Sundays ago with skinny tom but we ended up disappointed as it was pouring halfway through our journey. Not giving up and sored about it, we made arrangements for Sentosa again yesterday.

Skinny Tom as always, overslept and was late again. Me & Mich were early, sipping mocha at Corduroy Cafe whilst waiting for him & Joel to show up. Nope. Hopeless waiting for about an hour, I gave up and dragged Mich to Cafe Del Mar myself.

Being the lazy cum pampered bitch, I usually hopped into a taxi and drive straight to the beach. This time round, Mich brought me to take the Sentosa Express.

First time! Excitedness! Ok, call me Sua Ku if you might.

Was worried about the weather but thank God the sun was on my side. Well, at least it was sunny and hot for the 1st 2 hours or so. Honestly, it didn't make a lot of difference. The music and the booze were enough for us bitches.

the clouds fighting for space with the sun

Fabulicious

Whilst waiting for Kat to close her shop, me & skinny tom went over to Murray Street to grab a bite. And we chanced upon this Ah Ma Lor Ba that I just couldn't resist.

Knowing me as Kelly the glutton, how can I ever say no to nice braised pork belly, pig trotters and all the oh-so-sinful fatty stuff that are high in cholesterol. My theory = the higher the cholesterol, the nicer it tastes!

The table settings are nothing much to talk about. It just looks like a normal coffeeshop but with menu and loud radio blasting FM93.3 at the background.

The menu states under the lor ba a.k.a. braised pork belly that "it's so tender that it melts in your mouth". Innocently enticed by the description despite knowing that it's all part of marketing, I ordered a braised pork belly, preserved vegetables and porridge. Skinny Tom didn't want to eat.

BEFORE

I had my first bite and trust me. It REALLY MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH! Skinny Tom, stunned by reaction, took a bite as well and ended up ordering another porridge to go with it.

AFTER

Located at Murray Street, this small lane just opposite Maxwell Market, Ah Ma Lor Ba has only started business no more than 3 months ago. I spoke to the owner Allan and he mentioned that all the meat are braised in claypot using charcoal. Yum. How authentic and traditional can that get. No worries for those who don't like fatty meat, there are a good selection of others such as duck and chicken as well. The best part, they include all the offals as well! If not for the fact that we were rushing for time, I would have taken my time to savour the braised duck tongue and chicken feet!

K Session

For the longest time now, I've not stepped into Partyworld or a KTV pub and my throat was itching like f**k.

Last night was supposed to be ladies night at the cannery but Zan lured us to a KTV pub so we ended up at Alan's. Finally - an opportunity to satisfy that overdue craving of ours!! Woohoo!!!

darling furfurangel (after 7 stouts - sweetie, your blood is not AB+, its ABC!)


my dearest assistant Silvia


It was nice. A long overdue session - although I only sang 4 songs, of which one was Christine's cos she wasn't around, at least I managed to satisfy that K & beer craving of mine. *Happiness*

touched

my guardian angel for the past 12 years. protecting me quietly. taking care of me silently.

1st sms: i love u as who u are
2nd sms: Haha. who says its unconditional, my condition is U MUST BE HAPPY
3rd sms: life is always full of surprises. who knows you may change ur mind but whatever happens, i mean my words

this morning, I received a mp3 in my inbox - "personal angel" (zhuan shu tian shi) sang by Tank.

*touched* I dropped tears last evening when I got the sms. and I dropped tears when the song greeted me good morning.

I love you a lot too. it's been 12 years. but the sad part is, i'm not in love with you. i'm sorry.

The risk I take

Many financial advisors, stock brokers, dealers, etc. will tell you the same old theory. Well, my Econs lecturer back in school taught me the same too: High risk = High returns. Low risk = Low returns.

For example, (Kor, correct me if I am wrong) Bluechip funds are considered a low risk fund but its returns may take ages to get that little amount. On the other hand, futures’ returns are a lot higher and a lot faster but the chances of you losing everything on hand overnight is highly possible too.

Are you a risk taker then? I once told Zan that if you’ve never fallen off a bicycle, you’ll never learn how to ride one. If you’ve never burn yourself before, you’ll never know playing with fire is dangerous. Likewise, you’ll never learn how to love someone until you’ve fallen out of love before.

Have you ever wonder how it would feel like to throw everything into a high risk situation, in order to gain higher returns? That’s living life in fear and insecurity isn’t it?

Putting Liebling aside, for once in my life, I told myself to be a good gf. I promised myself that I will be, the best gf anyone could possibly have. I wanted to be good. I wanted to be decent. I wanted to be faithful. I wanted to be understanding. But on the other hand, for the 1st time in my life, it’s scaring the shit out of me!

“I’ve never been so good in my entire life and it’s scaring the shit out of me. Is there something wrong with me?” I asked Holman last night. “Take it slow. You’re obviously not ready. Give it a year and see how it goes.” Rajesh nodded his head in agreement.

High risk still equals to high returns. We just gonna wait for a year to figure that out.

We continued our liquid diet.

I love you

no matter what happens. no matter how bad things are. no matter what the choices are. i still love you the same.

My many marriages

Pureblondie & Kor were having this MSN chat:

PB: All men are fucking bastards lah. The only good ones are all taken.
K: Wah. Like that say I also kena shoot leh.
PB: The only exception I guess it's you lor.
K: Of cos. You should know how much I love you.
PB: Maybe I should just marry you instead.
K: When do you want to get married?
PB: Initially I wanted 28. Now it's the earlier the better. Hahahaha. Maybe next year?
K: By then if you are single still, I'll marry you.
PB: At least I know that if I marry you, I'll be well taken care of.
K: I thought it's the other way around?
PB: Huh? What do you mean? Well, at least I know that you'll really take good care of me and that you'll be a very loving husband.
K: I'll gladly be.
PB: But then you will be suffering lah.
K: Why?
PB: I don't do housechores. I spend $ like crazy. I want to be chauffered around and I don't want to work!
K: Wah... In that case, I'll have to be rich first before I can marry you.
PB: Faintz.

And this reminds me of the many 'agreements' I had with a couple of my close buddies when I was still in my teens. If I am still single at the age of 30, I'm supposed to marry Nicky Boi. And Kev. And Kenny. And .... Wow... That's a lot of men to marry.

My prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Life is simple.

It has always been in my nature to probe. My curious self will always get me into a frenzy. Questions. Interrogation. Emails. Internet. Phonecalls. Whatever it takes to get me that answer.

It’s tiring. It’s tiring to constantly probe. It’s tiring to constantly doubt or to suspect and to go all out to find that answer. Why set yourself through all these? I asked myself. The more you find out, the more questions you have. And the more questions you have, comes the doubts & uncertainties.

Honestly, to hell with it!

I only believe in my eyes. Seeing is believing. Don’t tell me things anymore. Show it to me through your actions. Practice what you preached. Fulfil it when you promised something. Come on, talk is cheap. Action do speaks much louder than words.

As long as you do your part and show it to me through actions, I can’t be bothered with the rest. I do have a life on my own and I do have a job that requires my time & energy.

Life has become so much simpler now.

no idea anymore

I have absolutely no darn idea of what to write on my blog anymore. I'm not kidding you!

A blog is supposed to be a place where I am able to let out all my frustrations, share my sorrows and celebrate my happiness! But then again, I started receiving comments or smses from people asking me what's going on when they read my blog. I have people warning me not to reveal too much of myself online.

"How can you blog about such things? This kind of things we don't tell everyone one leh!" No. I didn't tell anyone. Only my friends have my blog address and I can't help it if they passed it around to the other KPOs. It's none of my business. Hello! This is my blog. I write what I want. I write what I feel.

I can't help it if you want to gossip about me. I can't help it if you start telling everyone one else around you about my entries. So F-OFF!

Pete is just so wrong...

A legend in the music industry, Pete Tong is one of world’s famous & veteran DJ.

Being an avid fan who owns a number of his CDs, I didn’t miss his latest gig at Café Del Mar last Friday. Yes I know I am sick. I am still sick. But trust me, it didn’t exhaust me at all.

1) I was sitting down sipping my coke since 10pm. (How pathetic is that? No alcohol allowed – for me I meant.)
2) Pete came on about 12mn and I left at 1.30am.

Can you actually believe this? I went all the way to freaking Sentosa despite being sick and left an hour plus after he started. The music was just way too chill out. I wanted my usual ‘hard’ fare but I was disappointed. Nason said the music went hard about 2am. Damn it!

Pete spinning - can't see him i know. blame it on the lightings.


The crowd

I'm sick

I'm sick. As in really really sick. I've seen 4 doctors for the same illness and after being obedient and finishing up all the medicine they gave. I'm still not cured. And now, I have to suffer from the complications arising from that.

Was suffering from backache for the past 4 days. So bad that I had to put a towel underneath my back to sleep at night. It was so bad that I can hardly walk. The last draw was when I started shivering in the office when everyone's perspiring.. really bad sign. Went to the company doc opp office and my temperature was a freaking 39degrees celsius!! Things were apparently really very bad. Doc wrote me a referral letter to Gleneagles Hospital for a thorough check-up.

Yup. Went to Gleneagles today. Spend 3 freaking hours there. Conducted countless tests. You name it. X-ray. Ultrasound. Blood test. Urine test. Culture test. Everything possible there lah! And trust me, this is the most expensive doc I've ever seen in my entire freaking life!!!! The damage today was $700!!! F**K man!But then again, the doctor told me that I'm definitely gonna get cured. So I guess it's worth it isn't it?

I'm a non-smoker.

"I'm a non-smoker. And I'm gonna be a non-smoker for the rest of my life." This is what my therapist made me repeat to myself during our session. Yes. Laugh. Go ahead & laugh. Yes. I went to see a therapist for my smoking habit. I'm losing control over the habit and that is why.

1. I smoke AT LEAST 20 sticks a day. 100% more than what I smoked 6 months ago.
2. When running out of smokes, I go through all my bags (mind you, i have quite a fair bit) in search of cigarette boxes, hoping that I can find a stick or 2 that was left behind & forgotten. If that fails, I go through all the cupboards and drawers at home, including my lao peh's.
3. I will resort to smoking any cigarette no matter how yucky it tastes. I smokes menthol lights. Lao Peh smokes that freaking horrid Gudang Garum. And yes, i'm not kidding. I resort to smoking that at times when I am out. And it became a few, actually no. It became a lot of packets that I took from his drawer.
4. If all else fails, I will walk a 10min out. To the nearest 24 hour coffeeshop across my place to grab a packet.

Isn't that losing control?

With the mindset that I'm losing control over myself. Ok lah, I was also feeling down that day lah. I called Jennifer (from Grey Matter Networks) and arranged for a session with her to quit smoking - actually, it's more of gaining back control in my life.

And this is how I started my hypnotheraphy session... (Hypnotheraphy: the use of hypnosis in a therapeutic context. Some call it clinical works).

After attending 2 full sessions (each lasting about 1 hour 30min), these are the changes:

- Smoking now becomes a choice. I no longer feel the urge to smoke. I don't even have cravings to smoke anymore. And when I pick up a stick of cigarette now, it's because I want to, not because I have to.
- Several days have passed. And I'm proud that I'm smoking about 5 sticks a day. NO NO NO!!! It's not that I'm still a smoker. These 5 sticks are being offered to me and I smoked just for companionship sake. You know what I mean...
- Smoking no longer takes control of my life. But I do. It may sound a little absurb. But I do feel a lot more positive and happier after the session. I am now back in control and things around me just kept getting better.

Thanks Jennifer, for your help. For helping me got rid of that smokes dependency and of course, making me feel so good about myself. Thank you.

Thank you for not marrying me

I guess some of you may know my history with Mr D. The man I've dated for 4 years and was supposed to get married to.

After 4 years of ups and downs, fights & sweetness, tears & joy, I finally accepted his proposal. But just 6 months before our ROM, he postponed it, called it off and eventually, broke up with me.

For years, I blamed him for cheating my feelings. For years, I questioned his integrity for breaking up with me and then finding a rebound just the day we ended. I hated what he did to me. I hated the devastation he has caused me. I blamed him. For years.

Life goes on and we go through many experiences every other day after that made us realise, reflect, learn and grow from the past. Just today. Today. I finally figured out why he left. And I thank him. I sincerely thank him. No, not that he's never told me the truth before. He did. Many times indeed and we are friends now still. It's just that his words never sank into me because I never really understood what he meant.

" I love you a lot. In fact, you're probably the only woman I've ever loved so much in my entire life. I really wanted to marry you. That was what I wanted to do all these years and I was happy when you were finally ready. But when we were getting closer to our wedding date, I realise that it was a mistake. I figured that as much as I really love you, I couldn't spend the rest of my life with you." Ambiguous I know it sounds. And I passed it off as a statement, since we have both moved on.

Finally. As I spoke to Aunty Poh during coffee today after visiting Granny, she made me realise something I never did. A simple question: What happened between you and your 4 year bf? I ponder for a while and I answered her: It was my fault.

Yes. Don't be surprised. (I'm pretty sure Grace will definitely disagree given the fact that I was a well-behaved and nice gf - well, towards the end when we were preparing for the big day.) I am telling you guys now. That it's entire my fault. And I finally realise the meaning behind those words he said to me.

Yes. He loved me. He really really did loved me. The pain of breaking up was so hard & intense for him that he needed a rebound to forget about me. Yes, it's one of the stupidest thing to do but knowing D, this is the shortest way to recovery. And I dun blame him for it. He needed a rebound. Without that, he would have probably gone bonkers.

And now. The truth. To be honest, I was not a good gf. In fact, I was one of the worst gf anyone could possibly get - in the past lah i meant!! I was demanding and unreasonable. Or rather, super unreasonable. I was super hot tempered and a spendthrift. I was self-centered and selfish. I was self-opinionated and arrogant. I had a super good catch who loves me dearly and dotes on me tons but I was still keeping my options open. I continue to club with my gfs and continue to play with the many men in my life. Of course, there are good sides to me too lah. But honestly, the dark side played a bigger part in the relationship.

D was a flirt and a major big time MCP before he met me. He changed and gave it to me. He submitted himself to me and loved me like there's no tomorrow. He knew exactly what I was doing outside the relationship and saw how I treated him shabbily. He kept quiet. And endured. And continued praying for a miracle, hoping that I will be touched by his love. It went on. I treated him the same way and he loved me the same way... for more than 3 years. It was only when I got caught red-handed that I stopped and mellowed down. And that was when I started changing and he proposed.

Honestly, D. Thank you for not marrying me. Thank you for fearing that I won't change for the better and that history will repeat itself. Thank you. Because now that I think about it, I would have done the same. It ain't easy to look at the silverlining when it's been raining for way too long.

Family History

Do you really know your family history well enough? Do you really know what exactly happened when you were not born yet? Not that it’s any of our concern but sometimes we just want to know although parents, uncles & aunties just don’t see the need of sharing certain family background information to the younger generation. “Why do you need to know so much about? Children shouldn’t get involved in adult affairs”, they would usually tell us when we bombarded them with the gazillion questions during your younger days. As time passes, we just naturally move on and forget all about it.

It was pure chance that I bumped into Uncle M. He’s the owner of a well-known tattoo shop in Singapore and we were having tea at a coffeeshop one evening when he asked where I stayed when I was young. “Nee Soon. Old Nee Soon.” I told him. Coincidentally he grew up there too. “ Do you know Tan Ah Chi?” he asked me. I nodded my head and said that he was my great grandfather. That was when all the beans about my family history were spilled.

I found out so many things about my family that I never knew. I heard from him, great heroic stories about my great grandpa – whom I can’t recall I have met. I think he passed away when I was only 1 year old or something. I heard stories about my grand uncles and uncles. It got a little scary when he started telling me things about my grandfather… and my 2nd uncle and my 3rd uncle… and little did I know that… Uncle M is a good friend of my beloved Lao Peh…. *stunned* I told Jie about it and she shared with me the little she knew. She’s 6 years older so she’s about 7 years old when great grandpa was still around.

It’s scary to hear deep dark secrets about the family, which the adults will never ever share with you… but it’s also very pleasant to hear people full of praises for your father. Lao Peh, I’m so proud of you!!! Actually no, *pat my shoulder* I’m so proud to have you as my Lao Peh!!!!

Down

Close friends and relatives said that I've changed. I used to be the happy-go-lucky person. I was the strongest and the most outstanding among the peers. I was a good advisor and a leader by nature, they would say.

I've changed. I saw it myself too. I used to be disciplined and strict with myself. As for now, my girls can't even believe what the hell I am doing now. I'm acting totally out of character. Why? They ask me. I dunno. I answer them. It's out of desperation. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm totally totally stressed out. I've never felt like this before my entire life... to the point that I felt like giving up. On everything. Everything I meant.

Oh Dear Lord, please enlighten me. Please guide me along and tell me what to do. I'm lost now. Really. Show me the right path and I'll follow....

Nicing

I went home late after a long & tiring day of work yesterday. And I reminded Koochie to go shopping with me at Ikea this weekend for the new furniture I'm supposed to buy for my living room. I guess I was too late. By the time I got home around 12mn, I already had a brand new living room!!!

my half-completed living room


Ah bu's budget was 2k for a sofa and a new sound system. But ah boy splured everything on a sofa set, coffee table, side table, a rug & a lamp. Excluding the TV bench and stereo system we still need to get!! Ah bu will definitely faint... "Just $500 more" Ah boy told me last night, to complete the entire look.

I seriously feel that a nice small chandelier will complete everything. Ex man.

Pay back time

After choking up about $9k in credit card debts... I finally get to see a tiny weeny little bit of pay back.

though it was a little too miserable lah...

Exhilarating experience..

I've not sat on a motorcycle for the longest time now. I still clearly recall the times where my 1st bf would send me to school every morning in his humble little bumble bee NSR.. Also, not forgetting the ugly looking scar on my right elbow that was left behind after an accident at the Seletar Reservoir on a RVF, just the day before my 'O' levels biology paper! And of course, the thrill rides to Malaysia in my dearest Daddy's chopper.

I tried sitting on Romi's little vespar the other day. He was riding at about 40km/h, just touring the area in front of C&F. And I ended up grabbing his shoulder so tight that everyone laughed.

Yesterday, I went a little bolder. I accepted Chef Ronnie's offer to send me to Corduroy Cafe - in his damn cool bike lor!



-_-''' nerve wrecking experience....

My precious toy...

I shopped and looked around. The only one that caught my eyes was this:



Ok lah. I know this is not the latest model but after comparing all the different specs, this is like the best among all the walkman phone. I know the w850i is good too but it lacks autofocus. And autofocus to me, is VERY important. I need that lah cos of my shaky hands when taking pictures. Anyway, the plan was for me to get the white one and Koochie get the black one - I managed to convinced him that it's a great phone. But Koochie went to buy a white one himself.... without telling me..

Here comes the sweet part, he bought 2 instead!!! And that means.. I've got a new phone!!!! *BIG Kiss to my dearest Koochie* Thank you darling!!! Muacks! Muacks!

Focused.. Focused..

I was smoking alone at the balcony outside my office when I realised that there was a change in me - in terms of work, recently. Especially so Koochie came into my life.

I used to be proactive. I used to take initiative. I used to work from 9plus am till midnight and never felt tired. Has age taken a toll on me? Or was it the many incidents and disappointments I encounter at work that made me lost interest? Worst still when Koochie told me that we will be settling down in Melbourne and that I have the luxury of staying at home. With the mindset that I will be a taitai anyway, work performance went down. No, not that I'm not working hard - of course I still am. But it's different. I've became one of those who worked for a salary instead of putting my heart & soul into the job which I used to for the longest time now.

Koochie told me that he have made other plans for us. We will selling our apartment back in Melbourne and will move everything back to SG. And that means working and living HERE, in SG. Casting retirement plans aside, it will SG for now. And so that means, I have to wake my idea and start putting in effort in my job again. And when I get my ball rolling (ask my girls, they can bet you your last dollar), I will be spending 14 - 16 hours in the office again. And my aggresiveness will usually pissed a lot of people off. What's harmony to speak of when you can't bloody do your job well? Actually, I kinda miss that. Though it was different then as I didn't have any commitments remember? Alright then. I'm back.

Never travelled before...

God damn it lah! Why does things always screw up when we are so enthusiatic and excited about it? Flights to Melbourne are all fully booked. Even the transit flights! The only ones left are the business class tickets which costs a freaking $5k per person!!! Waiting list is of no use as well. My friends have clients who were in the waiting list for 3 weeks now and no news yet. Singaporeans never travelled before issit? Why must they always jam up all the bookings when it comes to festive or long holiday weekends!!!!

I managed to find one though. Qantas but transit at Sydney - damn lousy flight but its $1.5k per person and it's not on the date we wanted.. Super sianz.. Looks like Melbourne's out of the question now lah. Anyway, Koochie's planning something for us though. He doesn't want to tell - it's a surprise he says. It'd better be good cos my leave for the entire CNY week has been approved and I don't freaking get to go back Melbourne. *Angryness*

Boy's Obsession & Koochie's expertise...

The Ultimate

Fly me to the moon.. once again..

Fly me to the moon.. and let me play among the stars… la..la..la..la..

I is the happiest now. Nope, I haven’t found my apartment yet. Still painstakingly searching and looking. There are obviously good stuff that happened which made me feel this way right? Yes smarty pants!

But before that I need to apologise to my dearest Ah Zan. Sweetheart, I’m terribly sorry. I’m afraid I won’t be able to celebrate your birthday with you this year… I know I promised to rush back on the 3rd day of CNY but this time round I won’t be able to… cos…. I’m going to… MELBOURNE!!!!

Woooooohhhhh!!!! Happiness to the max man!!! It came as a surprise. Koochie just told me that he’s going back to Melbourne during CNY. And the next thing I know, he asked if I want to go back with him too. And the best part, the tickets are FOC!!! With compliments from his mum. She just wanted us to go back and enjoy ourselves during this celebratory season. * Beaming from ear to ear* So sweet of her. Anyway, she’s going to London next week (Koochie’s Godma’s very sick in London I heard) instead of returning to Melbourne together with us. And, did I mentioned that she’s giving me her diamond ring? No. Not buy me a diamond ring. She’s giving me HER diamond ring lah. (A big step hor?)


PS: Anyway, I've upgraded my dinosaur Dell laptop to a imac. Yeah... But I can't seem to create links or add colours, etc. to my blog entry leh. Can someone help? Also, no more MSN messenger. Sadz...

Phone numbers please...

To all my dearies... please sms me your phone number. Super sianz.. all contacts lost liao. And worse, my media contacts!!!! Send me a sms please.. I need to rebuild it up again. My phone number's the same.

Another one gone

I lost my beloved W700i. The limited edition titanium gold version.. The one I paid a freaking $450 for even after signing up for 2-year plan.. sob... All my contacts are in there.. our favourite pictures and adorable videos of Koochie. sob....

I love my ring!

I is so loving my ring. No lah, not my ring yet. In fact, it's just my dream engagement ring! *Wink* Not very ex lah. Only $56,218. Did I just hear you gasp? Koochie asked me to look for another boyfriend instead.

10 things happy couples do - Mark Goulston, M.D.

I read this somewhere and it got me into thinking - how many of us practice these nowadays? Well, I still do (ok, fine fine. Mine's a new relationship that's why we are still lovey dovey, I hear you say. But I do know of couples who are still like this after many years. Do you?)

Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die. Now discover the 10 things that happy couples do:

1. Go to bed at the same time.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

2. Cultivate common interests.
After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side.
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong.
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.
Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning.
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel.
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a "weather" check during the day.
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other. Special Notes : Even if these actions don't come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love.

I thank God for us.

Injured.

KNNBCCB! Was on leave yesterday and I ended up with so many freak accidents!

First, was walking to Bugis Starbucks with Koochie after lunch and was hit by this man talking on the phone and waving his arms all over. And it was his bloody cigarette that hit me! On my FACE!!! Chao turtle! I is disfigured now already lah! Koochie scolded that fellow upside down and he offered to bring me to the docs but Koochie asked for monetary compensation instead. F**K! My face only worth $50 issit? *Angryness*

my scarred face

We had dinner with Koochie's mum at Wala Wala at Holland V and I is the swayest yesterday. KNN! I found a piece of glass in my beer! Koochie asked me to pretend that I cut my tongue - which obviously I didn't and our entire meal was complimentary. Super swayness! Think I should stay home instead.

His song to me...

Fly me to the moon.....

Fly me to the moon... and let me play among the stars... la..la...la...la...

I is the happiest I've been for the longest time. I'm floating!!! Cos... I'm shifting!!!! In a few weeks time! With Koochie & Ah Zan!!! I is so damn f**king happy lor!

It's called Hazel Park Condo, located at Upper Bukit Timah Road. The best part I love about it: cab fare to C&F is only $5!!!!

Fly me to the moon... and let me play among the stars....

F**K MAN! Now that we're all geared up to move in, the owner now says he doesn't want to rent it out anymore! *Super duper angryness* We all got the feeling it's becos of Koochie. Apparently, the owner seems to know Koochie from the past and trust me, it's not a good experience.. Hahaha...

NYE pictures - long overdue

@#$%&*- Prices went up!!!

Wah lau eh. I is super tulan. Of all times, why do the prices have to go up now?? Why? Why only when I'm looking for an apartment?? A studio apartment at a decent area was going at $1k per month 2 months ago. And now, it's going at a freaking $1.5 minimum!!! *Super angryness*

We've mobilized all our agent friends and still no news. Despite the fact that Ah Zan will be staying together with us - more $$ to get a place, it's still not getting anywhere. Worse come worse, we'll have to settle for a flat, BUT it'd better be fully furnished with aircon and the location better be super near C&F. That's the purpose actually. To cut down my $1.2k taxi fare every month. ROARRRRRRR!!!!!

I'm sorry. You're late.

I received a greeting sms on Xmas Eve from an unsaved but very familiar number. The same person smsed me on NYE too. Too busy deleting & replying to all those I know, I conveniently deleted the message and clearly forgotten about its existence.

Then on 5th Jan, the same fellow smsed me another New Year greeting sms. And what puzzled me was how he addressed me: Dear. Dear??? Who the hell is this and where on earth would someone sent a New Year sms on the 5th of Jan? A bit too late right? Obviously this person is waiting for a response from me. I called back. It was an overseas ringing tone. The person picked up and it turned out to be the most unexpected person: Liebling.

I was shocked. I was stumped. I was embarassed because I asked who he was.... I deleted his number remember? SHIT!!!! I was cordial to him but he said I sounded cold. Honestly, what would you expect? I waited a good 6 months for just one phone call but it didn't happen. But now, it's all too late.

Pureblondie: I've got something to tell you.
Liebling: Yah?
PB: I'm attached.
L: *Silence*
PB: Did you hear me?
L: *Silence*
PB: Hello? You still there?
L: Yah I heard you. Good. I'm happy for you. *Silence again*

And the rest? They are history now. I'm proud of myself.

Still down...

Office network is still down. The Lord of the Corduroys is still fiddling with it.. WHEN???? When can I have my internet connection up again? I am spending $$$ everyday and spending my time at Guthrie House's Coffee Bean sending out emails plus walking to and fro office cos my dearest dell laptop is running on low batt AGAIN...

Go my darlings!

I received an sms this morning while dozing off in the cab and it woke me up right away. My dearest darling furfurangel is attached!!!! I is so happy for you girl!!! Finally!! I can marry you off liao!!! Haha. I've waited long enough darling. No more f**king jerks & bastards. Now's the time we good girls deserve good guys! *Wink*

Now that Gracie is happily married & Feifeizhu still has someone in her heart - I shall start matchmaking Ah Zan & Esther!!! Sweethearts, don't make me wait too long to be your bridesmaid leh...

A Year of New Beginnings

*KNN! Office network down since NYE. No internet access at all. So, apologies for the late post.*

Happy New Year everyone! Let’s welcome the brand new year with arms wide open. Most of us bet that it would be a better year than the previous - I certainly hoped so too!

Anyway, now’s the time to reflect the past year and to set revelations for the new year. Here’s mine:

06 has been filled with challenges. Nope, nothing bad at all. Just new challenges that spurred me to work harder & tons of new skills learnt. Year 1 is really a year of learning for me man! I’m proud to say that I’m pretty skilled in adobe illustrator now – I was a complete design idiot previously. Trust me, I really am. Ask my girls and they’ll vouch for it.

I’ve also finally, after so damn bloody long, let go of Liebling. Enough of holding onto someone when you know things will never be the same ever again. Plus the very fact that we both know that it’s Impossible (with a capital “I”) between us, time to move on man! Also, I’m feeling very bad that I have, inevitably hurt wj in pursuit of my own interest. I’m sorry. Really am.

I’ve overspent. Waaaaayyyyyy…. overspent. My latest bill came up to over $5k!!! WTF!!!! The consequences of too much bags, shoes & drinking!!

Enough said of the past, here’s my revelation for the new year (Koochie added quite a few to it though… sob….):

1. Cut down on expenditure
- Shoes & bags are to be bought once in 2 months (if necessary)
- Drinking sessions are to be cut down tremendously
- Only 1 credit card can be carried in my wallet at any one time
- Cash for all transactions unless in emergency cases
- No more signing up of any facial, hair, waxing or mani/pedi packages – damnit!
- Set aside $500 for savings every month – starting with $200 first lah. Got downpayment for the apartment to pay first leh!

2. More focus please, at work
- No more relaxing or laid back attitude. Now’s the time to put in that extra effort & go that extra mile. The promotion didn’t come that easy you know…

3. Start doing housechores
- Sob…. I is left with no choice. It’s either I start doing or 1) I live in a dirty & messy house or 2) Koochie will start whining.

4. Maintain relationships
- Been neglecting jie for quite sometime now. It’s time to spend more quality time with her.
- My girls are missing me. We used to meet once a week or fortnight and we spend every special occasion together, I left early this year on Xmas & I didn’t get to see them on NYE too. I shall keep to the promise of meeting at least once a fortnight.
- And of cos, my dearest darling Koochie. Need I say more?

Anyway, NYE this year was different. Was made to dress up, as in REALLY wearing a dress, with absolutely no idea where I’ll be heading.
Had a nice quiet dinner with Koochie at some Mexican restaurant at Cuppage. Was on the way to Clarke Quay for the countdown when Daniel & James called and we ended up rushing down to C&F for countdown. And the best part, we were in the cab, at the entrance of C&F when the clock struck midnight!!!! Chao turtle!!!! I is damn f**king angry lor. Rushed like mad den the clock strike midnight when I was already at the entrance of C&F!!!!

Were drinking with the staff at C&F till about 2am and headed to Zouk thereafter. Koochie's fren said that the party will only end at 11am and I was so damn excited!! We left about 6am – much to my dismay cos Koochie wasn’t feeling too good after all the vodka straightup. Boy left Zouk only at 8.30am!!! Well done Boy! Anyway, it was NYE well spent. Like what most will say, it's not where you're going, it's who you're with. *Wink*

I gave into temptation....

After all these years of endurance… I didn’t give in despite all efforts from Damien, Gracie & Zan for the past 4 years… but… all becos of Koochie, I…… picked up MJ!!!! (Damien said he didn’t possess the charm Koochie had, to mesmerise me enough…. -_-‘’’) Well, I’m not a good player yet – not even near there! I’m still learning the ropes from him. I’ve grasped the skill of laying tiles to win, now’s the turn to learn the no. of “tai” & how to twist your tiles. OMG…. I seriously can’t believe that this is coming from me..… Everyone knows me as the girl who touches no cards nor dice nor MJ. I can’t even play “Dai di” for goodness sake! And now I’ve broken my vow of celibacy!!!!! Sob…..

Anyway, to digress a bit. We had a good talk at, god knows why 5am in the morning and we’ve decided to take this to the next level. He said he was ready and for my case, I’ve never been more ready. Come Jan and it’ll be a brand new beginning for us or rather, we have just taken our 1st step forward, together.

Tis' the season to celebrate...

Hark the harold angels sing... la.. la.. la..la.. la..

Merry Christmas People!!!!

This year's Xmas was at Grace's house again - although, there were more people this year and it was at her own place instead of her parents. Nope. No BBQ this year. No turkey, no ham or fanciful christmas goodies. Just hot steaming steamboat with lots of wine & log cakes!

The fanatic 3 - too bad Isa's in KL.

The hotpot

The food

The gang

Anyway, was excited about going to my 1st christmas midnight mass with Koochie but we ended up at some pub at Mohd Sultan his friends & a Thai Band, playing music of all genres.. Thai, Cantonese, Mandarin, Rock, Techno, R&B... His friends were overfriendly - they were pouring Whisky down my throat by the bottle...... Saw Vincent there too. He & Dee broke up liao. So sadz.. The couple were together for 6 bloodly years man! Anyway, I was, as usual "picked up" by several men that night when I was dancing & little did they know that my dear bf was just standing behind me! Haha.

Went back to Mark's place for wine & MJ with Zan till 11am on Christmas Day - they played till 11am, I was happily snoring away at 4am already! And the best part of it, the drinking session continued at KM 8 that very afternoon without them catching a single wink. Kudos man! Tis' the season to get drunk & not sleep!!!! Hahaha.

Merry Xmas!!!

It's now 11.41pm on Friday, 22 Dec and I'm still in office. OK lah. Clearing my stuff, going off soon already. Kooch already nagging. But I need to clear so that I can have a peaceful weekend right???

Anyway, I don't think I'll have any chance to blog till after Xmas. So people, here's wishing you:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Have lotsa fun, feasting, booze & pressies!!!!

Xinkuness...

My body finally gave way. After enduring for so long, I broke down with a high fever on Wed evening. Thinking that it was a normal migraine, I popped panadol, only to feel super cold followed by rising body temperature. Wrapped myself up with my cardi and managed to pespire a little. I thought it was over but couldn't sleep the entire night - was shivering under my super thick quilt. Woke up in the morning to go buy stationery for the office only to realise that my reaction & response took twice my usual time. I even walked twice slower. My vision was unclear and I had no idea where I was heading to as well. That was when I knew, I is cannot take it anymore.

Went to see doc and felt like sleeping on the couch but it was super cold despite being wrapped in my shawl. Doc told me that I'm really sick. A freaking 39.2 degrees celsius! WTF!

The only good thing: Kooch delivered soup for my dinner & pastries for breakfast. *Happiness*

Finally.... Death Note 2

Christmas Wishes

I is so damn loving this week's IS magazine cover:
























Well done IS! Less stress & more SEX! Hahaha.. Who doesn't love that?

Pay offs

After all the slogging & late nights... and the cover mountain cover sea duties I had to do when everyone's gone. I finally got my pay-off. An increment!!! *Happiness* Boss changed my title from Marketing Communications Manager to Marketing Manager instead....

All I want for Christmas is you.... *sweetness*